celebrity

Desiigner Performs Future’s Entire Album During 4th of July Parade

“Everybody say we pretty much the same n*gga so I said, F*CK it. Just my way of saluting a hip hop legend”

Rapper Desiigner performed Future’s entire EVOL album during an Atlanta 4th of July Parade and ended the set performing his hit signle ‘Panda’.

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“It was like watching Future without the dreads and skinny jeans.” – Concert Fan

Desiigner asked the crowd if they’d like to see him and Future tour together and they went wild, but we’re pretty sure Future will overdose on lean as soon as he hears about it.

Desiigner Had Nightmare that Rapper Future Never Existed

“I had no career and nobody’s rap career to copy. Worst dream ever” – Desiigner

Rapper Desiigner says he had a nightmare that rapper Future never existed and it was the worst thing ever. As he had no career and nobody to copy.

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“I was right back at my mama’s house searching Youtube for people to mimic my rap career after”

Rapper Desiigner says he woke up in a cold sweat in his freebandz sweater and dread wig that he only wears when not around cameras.

Jaden Smith Ready for Kids, Says: “I Want Someone to Put a Baby In Me”

“When my 3rd grade teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up?. I told her a woman.”

Said 17 year old Jaden Smith to TMZ cameras.

Jaden Smith revealed that he wanted to carry his first child himself and then is willing to let his girl/boyfriend or whatever he decides to marry carry the rest.

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“I’ve been a kid long enough. Time to be an adult and get pregnant”

Jaden says the technology exist, but everyone who went through yet have died and he’s willing to take that risk as soon as he’s of legal age to do so.

Warriors Throw in Wave Brush Kit to Sweeten Kevin Durant $54 Million Deal

“We like our future NBA champions to look presentable” – Warriors

Said Golden State Warriors head of marketing.

Golden State Warriors signed Kevin Durant to a two year $54 million dollar deal to join Steph in attaining their 2017 Nba championship title. To sweeten the deal team mates came together and purchased a wave brush and kit for superstar Durant.

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“We just thought it was the least we could do since we like to go out and club and shit when we not practicing” – Teammate

Wikipedia Updates Definition of “Hoe” with Picture of Amber Rose

“We tried to fit Kim in the pic with her, but all that ass made the page load slow.”

Wikipedia updated the definition of “Hoe” with a picture of Amber Rose after it was revealed she has dated every current and ex friend’s boyfriend.

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“The internet is moving toward more visual elements than text. Who represents the word “hoe” better than a picture of Amber Rose? The Ceo of Slut Walk.”

Amber Rose hasn’t commented on the honor, but we’re sure its a celebratory time for your hoeness, highness.

Kardashian Women Confirm Black Men Have Bigger Penises than White

“We have done extensive research in this area. Trust us.”

Said Kylie and Kim to their millions of Snapchat followers.

The Kardashian women say they know for a fact that all black men have bigger p3nis than white man after their years of extensive research.

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“I’ve had all types of p3nises. 6 inch, 8 inch, and then the ones not even worth measuring. Sorry white boys.”

Kardashian’s say that just because they have sampled over 200 different p3nises combined doesn’t make them whores. Its called research.

Russell Wilson Sad to Report He Still Ain’t ‘Hit’ It

“I said ‘I do’ and she still said ‘I don’t’. I’m a die of blue balls.” – Russell

Russell Wilson sad to report he still hasn’t had sex with Ciara even after saying ‘I do’ over the weekend.

Russell Wilson was extremely disappointed to find out Ciara still hasn’t gave up the ‘Goodies’ even after putting a ring on it and officially marrying her over the weekend.

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“She won’t even let me put the tip in”

Russell said he will give Ciara three days to come to her senses, because all the masturbating is f*cking up his throwing hand.

Nicki Comments “Tell Them Bum N*ggas Get Off My Car” on Meek’s IG Picture

“Tell them bum niggas get off my shit”

Said Nicki in a comment on Meek Mill’s instagram.

Meek Mill uploaded a picture of him and some of his Philly niggas sitting on her foreign car and Nicki hopped into her boyfriends comment section and told him to get those bum niggas off my sh*t.

“I bought that for you. Not you and the rest of themnicki-meek-picture-comment niggas in Philly that never made it” – Nicki

Nicki later deleted the comment, but not before The Shade Room screen shotted her comment. This comment just makes Nicki and Meek’s relationship faker than her ass.

Fetty Wap Tweeted #AllLivesMatter and His Fans WENT THE F**K IN! (Look at What Else they TWEETED LMAO)

Fetty Wap tweeted #AllLivesMatter and his fans let him know how they REALLY feel…
Check out the tweets below:
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I’m sure he didn’t see that coming..lol

He later apologized and punked the f**k out and tweeted something his publicist probably wrote:
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Stripper Takes Bow Wow to Court for Shorting Her 6 Songs During Lapdances

“He wasn’t worried about the money when my ass was clapping in his face.”

Says Chlaymdia Sampson about her case against rapper, Bow Wow a ‘regular’ customer of hers at an Atlanta gentlemen’s club.

Chlaymdia Sampson is pressing charges against Bow Wow for refusing to pay her for 6 lapdances at the rate of $75 per song.

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“I told him it would be extra if I put my titties on his forehead while dancing. He agreed.”

Chlaymdia says she knows its hard times for Bow Wow, but says he can repay her by coming to the club and letting her sit on his face in front of her paying customers.