celebrity

Internet Prankster Contracts Herpes After Kissing Kim K’s Butt as a Prank

“Soon as my lips connected with that ass I knew something wasn’t right”

Said Luke Skybrow about deciding to kiss Kim Kardashian’s butt as a prank.

Luke Skybrow a youtube comedian tested positive for herpes one day after kissing Kim Kardashian’s butt as a prank.

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“The dress was ass cut out in the back. So there was definitely some lip on ass contact, and that’s where I f*cked up.” – Luke

Luke says he was going to sue her for millions, but she’s already gave him one gift. The gift that keeps on giving. Herpes.

Man Suing Meek Mill After Going Deaf Listening to His Mixtape with Volume Up

“It hurt so bad that I wanted to call him a n***er and I’m not even racist. My best friend is black.”

Said Wiltan about his experience listening to his first Meek Mill mixtape.

Meek Mill is in court again after a 19 year old fan says he went death listening to the rappers mixtape with the volume all the way up in his Honda accord.

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Scottie Pippen Puts 14 Yr Old Daughter Out House for Playing Future Album

“First my wife. Now my baby girl. F**k a Future” – Pippen

An obviously upset Scottie Pippen said to police after it was reported he put his 14 year old daughter out the house for playing rapper Future’s album.

Scottie Pippen filed for divorce last month due to his wife having an affair with rapper Future, and the couple has since been living apart.

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“Me and that woman marriage lasted longer than my face. I can’t believe she would do this to me” – Pippen

Pippen says his daughter can go live with her mother or go be one of Future’s groupies since she loves him so much.

Desiigner Had Nightmare that Rapper Future Never Existed

“I had no career and nobody’s rap career to copy. Worst dream ever” – Desiigner

Rapper Desiigner says he had a nightmare that rapper Future never existed and it was the worst thing ever. As he had no career and nobody to copy.

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“I was right back at my mama’s house searching Youtube for people to mimic my rap career after”

Rapper Desiigner says he woke up in a cold sweat in his freebandz sweater and dread wig that he only wears when not around cameras.

Taylor Swift Tweets “Kanye Gives Black People a Bad Name”

“#BlackLivesMatterExceptKanye”

Tweeted Taylor Swift to her 1 Billion followers on Twitter.

Taylor Swift tweeted that Kanye gives black people a bad name which 99.9% of black people would agree with. Ever since becoming a Kardashian Kanye has exuded another level of bitchassness not normally aligned with being a Hip Hop artist.

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“I would leak her s3xtape, but the whole world already seen it” – Taylor

Taylor Swift plans to do typical white people things like press charges for Kanye recording the conversation without her permission.

Kevin Gates Sues Girl for $220 After Messing Up His Jordans Kicking Her in Face

“I got two Jordans. One for fashion and one for kicking hoes.”

Says Kevin Gates.

Rapper Kevin Gates has filed a counter suit against a fan he kicked after she continuously tugged on the rappers shorts during a concert last year.
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“Its the least she can do considering she’s taking me away from eating ass, and my babies for 6 months. Its only fair.”

Kevin Gates says he’s even willing to settle for non-retro Jordan prices which go for well below $150 on eBay, and your local corner store.

Amber Rose Ferarri Repossessed by Accident After They Mistake Her for Tyga

“Balling on IG, but sleeping on a mattress in Kylie’s mansion. He might as well be an IG Thot.”

Said Amber Rose.

Hip hop groupie Amber Rose’s 2010 Ferrari was repossessed by accident while sitting outside a nightclub waiting for valet to bring her car which never came. A Los Angeles repossession company thought they seen rapper Tyga exit the same vehicle that he owes $150,000 dollars on.

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Young M.A. Buys Nicki Minaj a Dildo for Her Birthday Says “Meek Ain’t Hitting It Right”

“Meek can’t even handle a rap beef so what he gon’ do with all that booty meat Nicki got”

Said Young M.A. according to Nicki Minaj on the card she sent along with her birthday gift.

Up and coming rapper YOung M.A. bought Nicki Minaj a d1ldo for her birthday, because she believes rapper Meek Mill ain’t hitting it right.
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“Meek too busy worried about Drake next move to understand how to please a rich b*tch like Nicki” – Young Ma

Young M.A. says “Nicki I only need 3 minutes maybe even 4, you’d be wanting to marry a n*gga-b*tch”.

pic of them looking at each other all sweet.

Kardashian Women Confirm Black Men Have Bigger Penises than White

“We have done extensive research in this area. Trust us.”

Said Kylie and Kim to their millions of Snapchat followers.

The Kardashian women say they know for a fact that all black men have bigger p3nis than white man after their years of extensive research.

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“I’ve had all types of p3nises. 6 inch, 8 inch, and then the ones not even worth measuring. Sorry white boys.”

Kardashian’s say that just because they have sampled over 200 different p3nises combined doesn’t make them whores. Its called research.

Magic Johnson and Charlie Sheen Start H.I.V Program Called “Welcome to the Team”

“We want H.I.V. positive people to know that they are not alone in their battle against not liking to wear condoms”

Said Mr. Sheen during the announcement of their new program “Welcome to the Team”.

Charlie Sheen and Magic Johnson teamed up to launch “Welcome to the Team” after H.I.V. rates continue to rise and people continue to smash random bitches without wearing protection.
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“We know condoms suck. Been there. Done THAT, without protection. Obviously” – Magic

Magic Johnson and Charlie are setting up support groups and developing a new s3x toy that feels just like the real thing since most H.I.V. positive people who reveal their status never get vagina again.