celebrity

Joe Budden: “Now Vanilla Ice Kissing the Canadians Ass? I Quit Rap”

“Em career dryer than grandma pussy so he tryna take sides with the Canadian”

Said Joe Budden about his ex slaughterhouse boss.

Joe Budden was heated this morning after pictures of Drake and Eminem appeared online. The “Pump it Up” rapper says he’s 100% completely done with rap even though that was decided years ago by fans and his peers.

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“Drake nor Eminem can see me on the Mic so I’ma just do them a favor and retire so they can be the best” – Budden

Drake brought out Eminem during a stop in Detroit on his tour to squash the fake beef and give props to the Rap God.

Man Searching for Pokemon Says He Found Tupac

“That nigga got fat”

Said a Los Angeles man who claim to have found dead rapper Tupac Shakur while searching for Pokemon like the rest of the lame world.

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“Thug Life tattoo still look good and he asked whatever happen to that n*gga Biggie? It was like he miss the last 20 years”

Tupac Shakur’s has no living relatives to confirm or deny if it’s him or if the man who found him is just smoking some of that good ole Cali Kush.

Singer Tyrese Diagnosed with ‘Light-Skin Negro Syndrome’ After Facebook Meltdown

“”Tyrese definitely out here looking more light-skin than a Drake love song. N*gga ugly-cried on camera, dafuck?””

Said one Instagram follower after the singer cried for 6 minutes on camera. Tyrese was properly diagnosed by Dr. Dre and and a host of other light skin n*ggas we all know and love who took each other by hands in a circle and welcomed the dark skin born African American into lightskinnededdom.

“And you can tell it wasn’t fake. Because he had the UGLY cry.”

Fan Performs Heimlich on Lil Yachty After He Swallows Hair Bead During Concert

“That’s what he gets for putting beads in his hair like a little fag” – Fan

Mildly retarded rapper Lil Yachty owes his life to a fan who performed the heimlich maneuver on the young man after he swallowed one of his hair beads during a performance.

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“He was performing and people thought his lyrics sounded all “mumbly” as usual, but he was actually dying. Not just rapping horribly.”

Lil Yachty invited the young fan backstage to receive a little groupy love from an underage thot, and smoke some reggie disguised as loud for saving his life.