celebrity

Man Finds Fetty Wap’s Missing Eye Playing Pokemon Go

“This nigga eye rarer than any Pokemon”

Said Jeffrey Hemps an avid Pokemon Go player.

A New Jersey man says he found Fetty Wap’s eye while searching for a very rare Pokemon over the weekend.

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“I’m just hoping the nigga throw me some of that Trap Queen money or I’ll be forced to flip this bitch on eBay.” – Jeffrey

Jeffrey says he’s not trying to break Fetty’s pockets, but if he doesn’t pay up he’ll die with one eye.

Rick Ross Celebrates Seeing Dick for First Time in 15 Years After Dropping 100lbs

“Last time I seen my dick was when my girl took a pic of it and sent it to me”

Said Rick Ross celebrating all his hard work and weight loss.

Rick Ross threw a party in Atlanta celebrating the reuniting of him and his manhood after being able to see his penis for the first time in years.

“Its like me and my dick been beefing for years and finally decided to be grown men and squash that shit”

Rick Ross says he plans to masturbate for the next few years just to make up for lost time.

Urban Dictionary Updates Definition of ‘L’ with Picture of Meek Mill

“He’s taken so many ‘L’s not changing it to his face would’ve been us not doing our job”

Said the marketing director of Urban Dictionary.

The Urban dictionary updated the meaning of the slang phrase ‘L’ to a picture of rapper Meek Mill after he continuously took losses in 2015 well into the later part of 2016.
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“Meek is going to slowly start to physically morph into an ‘L’ if he keeps taking losses” – Urban Dictionary

Meek Mill is too busy trying to figure out how he’s going to climb himself out of the hole of ‘L’s he’s dug to respond at this time.

The Game Starts GoFundMe to Buy Sean Kingston a Bra for his Titties

“nigga got two more titties than any bitch I ever met”

Said the Game to his 7 million Instagram followers.

Rapper the Game and Sean Kingston have been beefing over a robbery that took place in a night club and after singer Kingston dropped a viral video calling the game gay and a stripper.

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“this nigga wear a size double d for dunkin donuts. fat nigga”

The Game says he will help Sean Kingston lose weight by knocking 20 lbs off his ass on sight.

Remy Ma Leaves Papoose for Woman She Met in Prison

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“6 years of female made it impossible to transition back to d**k”

Said Remy Ma to TMZ outside a New York hotel.

Rapper Remy Ma revealed that she left her husband Papoose after her ex-cell mate was released from prison earlier this week.

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“Nobody knows how to make love to a woman. Like a woman. Trust me.”

Remy Ma says she’s willing to support Papoose since his rap career is dryer than her v@gina when they have sex.

Chris Brown Says He Hope Drake’s Cool With Rihanna Having Herpes

“If Magic beat Aids. I’m sure Drake can deal with a little herpes”

Said Chris in a video live from his home where he’s currently surrounded by police officers.

Chris Brown insinuated that his ex girlfriend Rihanna had herpes during a live broadcast from his Los Angeles home.

“Rihanna had herpes before she had a record deal so it ain’t shit the industry don’t already know”

Chris Brown says he knows Rihanna has herpes, because he punched her in her mouth for not telling him.

R. Kelly: “I’m Moving to Dubai Where Pissing on Women Isn’t Frowned Upon”

“They just get me” – R. Kelly

Said R. Kelly to a packed crowd on the last leg of his tour R. Kelly says he’s continuing his career in Dubai where they understand that pissing and defecating on these hoes is just another way of showing love and affection.

Dubai Prince’s and billionaires have flown out plenty of IG models to be used as human toilets just to be sent back to America soak and wet. R. Kelly will be doing the same.

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“Sometimes I’m in the middle of making sweet love to a woman and a nigga ain’t tryna stop for a bathroom break. So I just let it fly. I drink a lot of water. I shouldn’t be judged for that.” – R. Kelly

R. Kelly says any of his fans that want to be the first to receive a Golden Shower in Dubai they must provide proof of being at least 17, but no older than 21.

Kevin Gates Says He’ll Miss Eating Booty More than Family While in Jail

“Blood thicker than water, but b00ty thicker than blood.”

Said rapper Kevin Gates during an interview with the Breakfast Club before heading off to jail.

Rapper Kevin Gates has been sentenced to 180 days in jail following him being proven guilty of assaulting a fan with a mean chest kick.
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“B00ty and I just got a bond that can’t be explained” – Kevin

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Kevin Gates says he wasn’t trying to offend his family, but his wife understands it must be her ass, because it ain’t her face.

R. Kelly Caught Masturbating to Malia Obama Twerk Video

“Malia remind me of my jeeeep. I wanna ride”

Is what R. Kelly was singing acccording to his 19 year old girlfriend when she walked in on him masturbating to the viral Malia Obama twerk video.

R. Kelly’s new girlfriend told TMZ that her boyfriend of one month was masturbating to Malia Obama’s twerk video using both hands.

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“He was really into it. He ain’t never told me I remind him of his jeep. Ugh.” – Kelly’s Girlfriend

R. Kelly denies masturbating to Malia Obama but did say he agrees that all women over the age of 19 have cooties.

Dmx Starts a GoFundMe to Buy Crack

“I coulda just robbed a nigga, but I thought why not use technology?”

Said rapper Dmx.

Rapper DMX launched a GoFundMe page to raise money to buy a single crack rock and encouraging fans to “Help him get high”.

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