celebrity

Hillary Clinton Rushed to Hospital After Overdosing on Hot Sauce

“She’s been depressed since losing, and Hillary really loves her Texas Pete and Ninja Squirrel”

Said her publicist about her facing death from over indulging in hot sauce.

Hillary Clinton was rushed to a New York hospital after ingesting too much hot sauce, and almost dying in what doctors are calling a hot sauce overdose.

“Not to be racist, but she loves hot sauce as much as any red blooded African American does”

Hillary Clinton promises that this isn’t a publicity play to keep black people on her side. She promises.

Desiigner Performs Future’s Entire Album During 4th of July Parade

“Everybody say we pretty much the same n*gga so I said, F*CK it. Just my way of saluting a hip hop legend”

Rapper Desiigner performed Future’s entire EVOL album during an Atlanta 4th of July Parade and ended the set performing his hit signle ‘Panda’.

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“It was like watching Future without the dreads and skinny jeans.” – Concert Fan

Desiigner asked the crowd if they’d like to see him and Future tour together and they went wild, but we’re pretty sure Future will overdose on lean as soon as he hears about it.

Fetty Wap Tweeted #AllLivesMatter and His Fans WENT THE F**K IN! (Look at What Else they TWEETED LMAO)

Fetty Wap tweeted #AllLivesMatter and his fans let him know how they REALLY feel…
Check out the tweets below:
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I’m sure he didn’t see that coming..lol

He later apologized and punked the f**k out and tweeted something his publicist probably wrote:
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Nick Cannon Says R. Kelly Inspired Him to Piss on A Brazilian Chick

“Drip, drip, drip”

Said Nick Cannon before revealing that R. Kelly inspired him to release himself onto a Brazilian he met hopping the border while boarding a private plane. During an interview on Tax Season Nick Cannon speaks on peeing on a Brazilian chick in the shower after she asked him to do it in the bed “Wasn’t f**king up my 4500 thread count sheets.”

“Kelly legendary for that sh*t. The most I’ve done is knock a b*tch tooth out slapping my stick in her face.”

The opinions of Nick Cannon doesn’t reflect our own opinions, because we believe peeing on your significant other should strictly be an outdoor sport.

Mike Jones Sentenced to 4 Months Jail for Never Paying $200K Cell Phone Bill

“281-330- Don’t call that number no’ mo”

Said Mike Jones jokingly when revealing he reached a settlement with cell phone provider Sprint.

Mike Jones will serve four months in jail plus pay a $5,000 fine for defaulting on an agreement made with Sprint over 10 years ago.

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Iggy Azalea Reveals Pregnancy by D’Angelo Russell

“I felt like I owed him everything. Including my v@gina after telling me how Nick was dogging me behind my back. We’re gonna have a house full of baby snitches, LOL.” – Iggy

Said Iggy Azalea cheesing with baller and professional snitch D’Angelo Russell.

Iggy Azalea revealed that she’s pregnanty by basketball player D’Angelo Russell after he snitched on teammate Nick Young by recording him saying he slept with other women.

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“The good thing about D’Angelo is that I never have to worry about him lying to me, because he would end up telling on himself” – Iggy Azalea

Iggy and D’Angelo plan on getting married along side four ninja turtles since he’s a rat.

Cop Makes Lebron Remove His Hat and Show Hairline to Prove His Identity

“Don’t feel comfortable taking your hat off? That’s exactly what a Lebron imposter would say!”

Said one Cleveland police officer according to Lebron during a routine traffic stop.

A Cleveland police officer didn’t believe he had pulled over Lebron James and wanted him to prove it by removing his hat, and showing him his hairline.

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Floyd Got So Frustrated Reading a Big Worded Text from TI He Threw Phone in Trash

“This is an electronic message sent to inform you, Floyd Mayweather. That it has come to my immediate attention that you have disrespected me, and my marriage to the utmost degree, and I will handle you in the appropriate manner.

I’m popping off on sight, f**k n*gga.”

Friends are saying that boxer Floyd “I got all this money, but can’t read so how did I know to sign the right contract” Mayweather got so frustrated reading a big worded text from r
rapper T.I. about him dancing with his wife that he threw his whole phone in the trash.

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“TI could’ve simply told me he gonna pull up on me, but no. This n*gga had me asking my assistant to pull out a dictionary just to read a damn text message.”

T.I. said it was all part of his plan to throw the illiterate boxer off from what he really has planned. A celebrity spelling bee.

Amber Rose Ferarri Repossessed by Accident After They Mistake Her for Tyga

“Balling on IG, but sleeping on a mattress in Kylie’s mansion. He might as well be an IG Thot.”

Said Amber Rose.

Hip hop groupie Amber Rose’s 2010 Ferrari was repossessed by accident while sitting outside a nightclub waiting for valet to bring her car which never came. A Los Angeles repossession company thought they seen rapper Tyga exit the same vehicle that he owes $150,000 dollars on.

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Young M.A. Makes it Rain D1ldos in Atlanta Strip Club

“One b*tch caught a d1ldo to the eye, and is thinking about suing, but other than that everybody had a good time”

Up, and coming female male chauvinist Young M.A. put on a display in Atlanta’s Magic City when she made it rain male strap on parts to some of her favorite songs

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“It was atleast 1,000 d1ldos in the air at the same. damn. time. **future voice”

Young M.A. says she made one s3x shop owner very rich after dropping $30,000 on d1ldos for her gentlemen’s club night out.