“8 out of 10 New York men said they would hold the door open for their Timbs, before these hoes. Its a serious issue.”
A New Study shows that most New York men are more of gentlemen for their Timberland boots than their significant other.
“I came on stage. Then I came on stage. Best night of my life” – Audience Member
Said one woman who had the pleasure of getting her butt ate on stage by an up, and coming comedian.
Los Angeles comedian Orlando Brown (So Raven) shocked audience members when he performed a Kevin Gates impression, and then preceded to bring an audience member up on stage and do Kevin Gates signature move, licking butt.
“Booty is part of a well balanced diet” – Orlando
Orlando Bloom has recently lost his mind so this isn’t surprising, but the fact that he didn’t wash his face, and went on to do 3 more hours of stand up is concerning. Not even scope my n****a?
“Finding words that rhyme with n*gga is pretty easy. Just ask Lil Wayne”
Method and Red man visited Caucasian rap God Eminem on his 44th birthday and gifted the Emcee with the privilege of using the n-word without getting his head bust to the white meat or ruining his career.
“It is an honor, and a privilege to be able to say the n-word without worrying about over protective black coming for my head like they don’t say cracker in the privacy of their own home”
Eminem says he’s going to save his one time use in a rap about his mother since he hasn’t talked about brutally murdering her in a long time.
“Cuz tripping. As I said in ’94: We don’t love them….”
Said Snoop as police apprehended Martha Stewarts husband after he showed up to the recording studio of the rapper, with a pistol in hand.
Martha Stewarts husband of 15 years showed up to the home/recording studio of Snoop Dogg with a 357 revolver ready to make the 45 year old rapper leak weed residue after accusing him of sleeping with his wife.
“Martha wasn’t only an amazing wife, business women, and mother to our kids. She could also suck a mean one, and I will forever miss that” – Husband
Martha’s husband admits that the gun wasn’t loaded, and expected Snoop being the gangsta that he is would’ve shot him first, and spent the rest of his life in jail.
“And I thought cocaine was addictive. Her mouth is a drug.”
Lamar Odom has moved on from the likes of Khloe, and is dating a new chick who is only four foot eleven and the seven foot ex NBA star claims she can give him head while standing up. Front the front, or back.
“I would say she belong in a circus with tricks like that, but then I couldn’t have her here 24/7 showing me what that mouth do while standing up.”
Lamar says he doesn’t see himself ever leaving her unless she comes between him, and his crack cocaine like Khloe did.
“What happen to all those racks he rapped about in Rack City? Tyga Issa broke nigga.” – 21 Savage
Rapper Tyga pulled up to 21 savages concert in Los Angeles after the two continued to exchange words on social media, but was left carless after a repo’ woman came to repossess his last remaining car.
“At this point Tyga has lost more cars than he’s owned, and that’s not even possible. Think about it.”
The repossession company claims they found 2 unloaded guns, and a Kylie-Tyga sextape. To which she said “ps. Tyga’s pipe game is trash.”
“This is an electronic message sent to inform you, Floyd Mayweather. That it has come to my immediate attention that you have disrespected me, and my marriage to the utmost degree, and I will handle you in the appropriate manner.
I’m popping off on sight, f**k n*gga.”
Friends are saying that boxer Floyd “I got all this money, but can’t read so how did I know to sign the right contract” Mayweather got so frustrated reading a big worded text from r
rapper T.I. about him dancing with his wife that he threw his whole phone in the trash.
“TI could’ve simply told me he gonna pull up on me, but no. This n*gga had me asking my assistant to pull out a dictionary just to read a damn text message.”
T.I. said it was all part of his plan to throw the illiterate boxer off from what he really has planned. A celebrity spelling bee.
“One b*tch caught a d1ldo to the eye, and is thinking about suing, but other than that everybody had a good time”
Up, and coming female male chauvinist Young M.A. put on a display in Atlanta’s Magic City when she made it rain male strap on parts to some of her favorite songs
“It was atleast 1,000 d1ldos in the air at the same. damn. time. **future voice”
Young M.A. says she made one s3x shop owner very rich after dropping $30,000 on d1ldos for her gentlemen’s club night out.
“I ain’t had a period since I realized I liked barbie more than Ken”
Rapper Young M.A. claims she hasn’t had a period since she was around 13 years old, and realized she was a gay-gangster and ever since that day her menstrual cycle has been afraid to come on.
“That’s what he gets for putting beads in his hair like a little fag” – Fan
Mildly retarded rapper Lil Yachty owes his life to a fan who performed the heimlich maneuver on the young man after he swallowed one of his hair beads during a performance.
“He was performing and people thought his lyrics sounded all “mumbly” as usual, but he was actually dying. Not just rapping horribly.”
Lil Yachty invited the young fan backstage to receive a little groupy love from an underage thot, and smoke some reggie disguised as loud for saving his life.