New York Man Divorces Wife for Buying Him Timbs Without Leather Top for Christmas

“She disrespected me to the highest degree. I can’t get jiggy with these shits.”

Said one New York husband about his ex wife.

Roger Peninsky filed for divorce early today after his wife purchased him some wheat Timberlands without the leather top for Christmas.

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Study: 95% of Chicago Residents Were Gifted Guns for Christmas

“Chicagoans just want their friends, and families to live to see another minute”

Statistics report that more than 95% of Chicago residents received guns for Christmas.

Chicago seen a surge in gun purchases around this Christmas than ever before with more than 95% of residents were gifted guns for Christmas 2016.

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Side Chick Gifts Man Negative Pregnancy Test for Christmas

“I couldn’t have asked for a better present. Glad to know my pull out game still A1”

Said one man who received a negative pregnancy test as his Christmas present.

A woman gifted married man a negative pregnancy test as his Christmas gift, because he wasn’t ready to leave his wife, and start a family with her.

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Girl Has Heart Attack After Being Promoted from Side to Main Chick for Christmas

“Guess the excitement of finally being able to be seen in public with me was too much to handle”

Said Gerard after his side chick had a heart attack after he promoted her significance in his life.

Gerard John says his side chick had a heart attack after he upgraded her from side chick to main chick as her Christmas present.

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Kid Tells Mall Santa All He Wants for Christmas is For Him to Stop F*cking His Mom

“I don’t want her being one of your ho, ho, hoes”

One kid made headlines after telling a mall santa that all he wanted for Christmas is for him to stop having s3x with his mom. Come to find out this mall santa was going down the chimney’s of a couple of the kids moms.

“You been climbing down our chimney every night and it ain’t Christmas.”

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Young Thug Arrested in Mall for Using Womens Restroom Tells Police “I’ma Bad B*tch”

“I’m the baddest b*tch in this restroom. Yall should be grateful I’d even piss alongside you.”

Said rapper Young Thug to Atlanta police in Lenox mall.

Rapper Young Thug was arrested in An Atlanta mall, because he refused to leave a women’s restroom, and informed police that he is in fact a ‘bad b*tch’ that deserves to use any restroom he pleases.

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Guy Brings Photo of Ex Giving Him Head to Her Wedding, Stabs Him with Cake Knife

“I just wanted him to see the type of throat he was going to get for the rest of his life”

A Los Angeles man was stabbed by a wife-to-be after he showed up to her wedding with a picture of her giving him head.

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Crip Member Shoots Baby Mother for Letting Son Take Picture with ‘Red’ Santa

“Santa been set tripping for a long time, but she wanna play dumb”

Said one Los Angeles Crip gang member arrested early Friday morning.

A Los Angeles Crip gang member was arrested early Friday morning after he shot his childs mother for letting their two year old son sit in the lap of what he called ‘the enemy’, a mall Santa Claus.

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MTV True Life: “I’m Addicted to Drinking Kool Aid from Used Tampons”

“Most guys hate when its that ‘time of the month’ for they girl, but I love it. Yum”

Said MTV true life John Stunce about his weird addiction.

John Stunce will be on MTV true life: I Drink Kool Aid from Used Tampons Christmas edition this weekend and experts are predicting it to be one of the grossest episodes ever.

“Let’s be honest red kool aids already the sh*t by itself. So the menstrual flow is just the icing on the cake.”

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Stripper Has Left Booty Cheek Amputated from Paper Cut Infection

“Its hard pwussy popping on a headstand without having the other leg to balance all that weight”

Sandra Blunson lost the use of her left leg after a paper cut from a dollar bill got infected and doctors had no other choice, but to amputate the cheek and the limb.

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