Kid Tells Mall Santa All He Wants for Christmas is For Him to Stop F*cking His Mom

“I don’t want her being one of your ho, ho, hoes”

One kid made headlines after telling a mall santa that all he wanted for Christmas is for him to stop having s3x with his mom. Come to find out this mall santa was going down the chimney’s of a couple of the kids moms.

“You been climbing down our chimney every night and it ain’t Christmas.”

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Young Thug Arrested in Mall for Using Womens Restroom Tells Police “I’ma Bad B*tch”

“I’m the baddest b*tch in this restroom. Yall should be grateful I’d even piss alongside you.”

Said rapper Young Thug to Atlanta police in Lenox mall.

Rapper Young Thug was arrested in An Atlanta mall, because he refused to leave a women’s restroom, and informed police that he is in fact a ‘bad b*tch’ that deserves to use any restroom he pleases.

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Guy Brings Photo of Ex Giving Him Head to Her Wedding, Stabs Him with Cake Knife

“I just wanted him to see the type of throat he was going to get for the rest of his life”

A Los Angeles man was stabbed by a wife-to-be after he showed up to her wedding with a picture of her giving him head.

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Crip Member Shoots Baby Mother for Letting Son Take Picture with ‘Red’ Santa

“Santa been set tripping for a long time, but she wanna play dumb”

Said one Los Angeles Crip gang member arrested early Friday morning.

A Los Angeles Crip gang member was arrested early Friday morning after he shot his childs mother for letting their two year old son sit in the lap of what he called ‘the enemy’, a mall Santa Claus.

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MTV True Life: “I’m Addicted to Drinking Kool Aid from Used Tampons”

“Most guys hate when its that ‘time of the month’ for they girl, but I love it. Yum”

Said MTV true life John Stunce about his weird addiction.

John Stunce will be on MTV true life: I Drink Kool Aid from Used Tampons Christmas edition this weekend and experts are predicting it to be one of the grossest episodes ever.

“Let’s be honest red kool aids already the sh*t by itself. So the menstrual flow is just the icing on the cake.”

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Stripper Has Left Booty Cheek Amputated from Paper Cut Infection

“Its hard pwussy popping on a headstand without having the other leg to balance all that weight”

Sandra Blunson lost the use of her left leg after a paper cut from a dollar bill got infected and doctors had no other choice, but to amputate the cheek and the limb.

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Man Starts GoFundMe to Buy His Girlfriend Some “Edges” for Christmas

“I got tired of her looking like RoboCop with his helmet off”

Said one Florida gentlemen about his girlfriend.

A Florida man took his girlfriend lack of edges into his own hand and created a GoFundMe to pay for a surgery to get her permanent hair restoration for his Christmas.

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Girl Twerking in Library Ass Clapped So Loud, Arrested for Disturbing the Peace

“It sounded like 2 midgets high-fiving on the back of her ass. Set the fire alarm off and everything.”

Said one 16 year old boy who was studying for his permit exam.

A 23 year old Mystika Rolands was arrested for disturbing the peace in a library while shooting a video of her ass clapping very loudly.

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Obese Rapper 21 Sandwich Drops Record Dissing 21 Savage

“You food nigga. i eat you like food nigga. I eat you like 21 sandwiches, 21 sandwiches 21 sandwiches…2017 is mine if I don’t have a heart attack before the year out”

Which is the hook from 21 Sandwich hit single “21 Sandwich A N*gga”.

Up and coming parody rapper 21 sandwiches has dropped a diss record about 21 Savage threatening to eat the rapper, then throw him up, and eat him again. Nasty sh*t.

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Over 320 Deaths by Kangaroo Kick After Thousands Fight Kangaroos Hoping to Go Viral

“People think they got Floyd Mayweather hands and defense, but all these Kangaroo kick deaths determined that was a lie”

Over 320 deaths by Kangaroo kick since a video went viral of a man protecting his dog from a mean headlock from a Kangaroo.

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