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KKK To Police: “Leave Some Black People for Us”

“At this rate they’ll be nobody left for us to hate.”

Said one member of the KKK to news camera’s outside an Alabama police station.

Police have been doing what they’ve been doing way before smart phones had cameras to record the killings and ass whoopings and the Klu Klux Klan says it has to stop, before there is nobody left for them to hate.

police-brutality“Maybe the KKK and the Police can team up. Especially on the bigger ones like Shaq and Ru Paul.” – KKK Member

An Alabama police officer says they have nothing but the utmost respect for black people and wouldn’t harm a hair on their nappy, lazy, good for nothing heads.

Man Builds Time Machine So He Can Go Back to Kill Whoever Invented Child Support

“Maury about to be out of business n*gga”

Says Johnathan Munroe about raising $50,000 on GoFundME to build a time machine to go back in time and kill whoever invented child support.

Mr. Munroe says he only needs about $20,000 more to start ordering parts, and complete the time machine that he says will basically change baby father’s lives forever, because without meeting the mother of his 3 children he would’ve been “Bill Gates rich”.

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New York Man Commits Suicide After Finding Out His Timberlands were Fake

“I would’ve did the same sh*t.”

Said one other New York man who says he was a good friend of the deceased.

A New York man committed suicide after realizing he had been wearing fake Timberland boots for a little over a year.

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26 Yr Old Midget Arrested for Beating Up 9 Yr Old for Last Size 4 Jordan at Mall

“Size 4 adults hard to come by”

Said Roger who insisted he could’ve robbed women for their shoes, but that would make him feel like a “b*tch ass n*gga”.

Roger Cadaveras was arrested after several reports of a ‘little man’ terrorizing kids during Jordan releases at an Atlanta mall every Saturday.

“By robbing them I made them little niggas men at an early age. Not like their fathers were in their life or they wouldn’t have been out that late by themselves.”

Police did say that he is in fact one fly ass midget despite beating up children for a pair of shoes.

New York Mayor Approves Replacing Statue of Liberty with Giant Timberland Boot

“This is deadass the best idea a Mayor ever had b. Facts.”

Said one New Yorker who is all for replacing the statue of libery with a 100ft sculpture of a Wheat Timberland boot.

New York Mayor announced Friday night that a bill had been approved under Trump to replace the Statue of Liberty with something that better represented the city and fellow New Yorkers.

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New York Man Throws Timberland at Trump, Knocks Wig Off Outside Trump Towers

“He threw it from about 20 feet and them shits heavy, so you know son was mad strong. Facts b.”

Said one witness who seen the man hurl a Timberland boot at Trump coming out of his Trump Towers hotel in New York.

Trump was hit by a Timberland boot in the face while walking out of his prestigious Trump Towers residence in New York.

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Young Thug Arrested in Mall for Using Womens Restroom Tells Police “I’ma Bad B*tch”

“I’m the baddest b*tch in this restroom. Yall should be grateful I’d even piss alongside you.”

Said rapper Young Thug to Atlanta police in Lenox mall.

Rapper Young Thug was arrested in An Atlanta mall, because he refused to leave a women’s restroom, and informed police that he is in fact a ‘bad b*tch’ that deserves to use any restroom he pleases.

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New York Pastor Requires Members to Sacrifice Pair of Timberlands to Join Church

“This deadass the worse idea ever b.”

Said one New York man who wanted to attend church, but says he just copped his Timbs for $140 on clearance and wasn’t about to give them up. Not even for the Lord.

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Wikipedia Updates Definition of “Hoe” with Picture of Amber Rose

“We tried to fit Kim in the pic with her, but all that ass made the page load slow.”

Wikipedia updated the definition of “Hoe” with a picture of Amber Rose after it was revealed she has dated every current and ex friend’s boyfriend.

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“The internet is moving toward more visual elements than text. Who represents the word “hoe” better than a picture of Amber Rose? The Ceo of Slut Walk.”

Amber Rose hasn’t commented on the honor, but we’re sure its a celebratory time for your hoeness, highness.

Man Pays Off $50,000 Sallie Mae Loan With Dirty Strip Club Singles

“He had Sallie Mae front office smelling like Ciroc and period p*ssy” – Employee

42 year old Franklin Donald paid off his remaining $50,000 in Sallie Mae student loans in strip club singles after winning the lottery for millions, and deciding to hit the gentlemen’s club. “I just saved the worst of the ones that me and my crew threw that night. I mean we swiped butt cracks and v@ginas with them ones.”

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Franklin said at first Sallie Mae’s receptionist didn’t want to accept the smelly ones, but after realizing he hadn’t made a payment since he dropped out of community college. They decided a win is a win, and took the money.