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Michael Jordan Says He’s Tired of Police Killing All His Customers

“Due to police brutality black people are dropping like my jump shot in the 4th quarter”

Said Michael Jordan in a passionate article he wrote on the current state of police on anybody resembling a black person crime.

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“White people ain’t spending two hunnid on no shoes” – Michael Jordan

Michael says if he creates a special police edition Jordan sneaker will they at least hold off until he reaches billionaire status.

“If they keep this up I’ll only be worth half a billion by next year”

Man Sentenced to Death Ask to Eat B00ty for Last Meal

“This ain’t a Kevin Gates music video. He gonna eat Burger King and die happy like all the other killers.” – Prison Warden

Marcus Mirander, a man sentenced to death ask if he could partake in female b00ty as his last meal, but was denied after an intense debate over whether they’d allow it since the woman he requested was his wife.

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Crip Gang Member Stabs Mcdonald’s Cook for Handing Him Red Fry Cup

“Nigga shoulda colored that shit”

Said Duane Rocks after being apprehended for stabbing a McDonald’s employee for handing him a red fry cup.

Duane stabbed a McDonald’s fry cook after he asked for a medium fry and fry cook, Luis Meguirgiio, proceeded to hand him a fry in the traditional red fry cups from McDonald’s.

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“Even stevie Wonder would look twice, before handing me a red cup” – Duane

Duane was charged with third degree murder and says even a color blind man would get it for handing him a red cup.

Houston Cop Quits Says “I Don’t Get Paid Enough for This Sh*t”

“White people being the target instead of blacks is at an all time high”

Said one Florida cop, John Mcnillan who says he wants a head start on all the racial tension surrounding the cop on black violence going on lately, forever.

A Florida cop took off his uniform in the middle of a Florida police station and says he doesn’t get paid enough to wake up and worry about getting his head blown off by any person he passes in the streets.

“I use to have to worry about the drug dealers, and pimps we robbed, but now I got to worry about any black person we racially profile while walking pass”

Jonathan says he still got a few connects from drug bust he made over the years so he’s about to become Pablo Escobar and retire in Medellin, Colombia with some Spanish pwussy.

Internet Prankster Contracts Herpes After Kissing Kim K’s Butt as a Prank

“Soon as my lips connected with that ass I knew something wasn’t right”

Said Luke Skybrow about deciding to kiss Kim Kardashian’s butt as a prank.

Luke Skybrow a youtube comedian tested positive for herpes one day after kissing Kim Kardashian’s butt as a prank.

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“The dress was ass cut out in the back. So there was definitely some lip on ass contact, and that’s where I f*cked up.” – Luke

Luke says he was going to sue her for millions, but she’s already gave him one gift. The gift that keeps on giving. Herpes.

PETA Member Says Gucci’s a Dead N*gger After Seeing Him in 12 Dead Animal Fur Coat

“How would he like it if I wore a jacket made of all of his dead homies?”

MEMBER OF PETA …Says Gucci Mane a DEAD N*GGER After Seeing Photo of Him Wearing a Fur Jacket with 12 DIFFERENT Dead Animals (Say GUWOP is Dead on SIGHT!!)

A man claiming to be a head member at animals rights group PETA says Gucci Mane is a DEAD N*GGER on sight, and is talking like he’s going to put money on GUWOPS head after seeing him wearing a fur coat with more than 12 different types of dead animal on it.
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“Gucci mane sees it as balling. We see it as first degree MURDER.”

Gucci Mane says he already has one body under his belt, and won’t hesitate to add another if some animal protecting f**k boy runs up on him.

N.Y. Pastor Making Millions Selling Ciroc Flavored Holy Water to Church Members

“I never met a New York person who didn’t like Ciroc its just smart business.”

Said Reverend Sunchain of New York Baptist Church.

A New York pastor is making millions of dollars selling Ciroc flavored holy water to members of his church.

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Obese Wife Kills Husband For Replacing Her 20pc McNugget with Vegetables

“He was worried about her health, and his safety whenever she’d get on top and ride the ‘D’ ” – Husband’s Brother

Said one Ohio man’s brother in law who’s sister murdered her husband because he kept replacing her McDonalds nuggest with a box full of healthy vegetables.

“She will never be an Instagram model getting paid $5K for a club walk thru, and get skeeted on by local promoters if she keeps eating McDonalds daily.” – Husband’s Brother

The sad thing about this story is she’ll never get any McDonald’s from behind bars.

Husband Divorces Wife Because He was Tired of Paying for Her Weave

“It be cheaper to buy the whole damn horse and grow your own hair”

An Atlanta man filed for divorce from his wife of seven years, because he was tired of paying for her weave according to court documents.

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Crip Gang Member Dies of Blood Lost After Refusing Red Blood Transfusion

“He died a real nigga. Respect” – Crip Member

Said one crip gang member about their falling soldier.

Los Angeles crip gang member, Rodromas Johnson refused to have a blood transfusion after being critically injured in a shootout simply because blood is red.

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