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Girl Has Heart Attack After Being Promoted from Side to Main Chick for Christmas

“Guess the excitement of finally being able to be seen in public with me was too much to handle”

Said Gerard after his side chick had a heart attack after he promoted her significance in his life.

Gerard John says his side chick had a heart attack after he upgraded her from side chick to main chick as her Christmas present.

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Worldstar Founder Wants $1 Million to Not Upload Malia Obama Sextape

“Lil nigga had her calling him Obama, and everything. Barack don’t want this to hit the net.” – Founder

Founder of Worldstar wants $1 million dollars to not upload a sextape of President Obama’s daughter Malia Obama which he says he received from a man that attended the party where she is seen twerking and dancing.

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“Bill is known for getting his d**k suckd, and Barack will be known for his daughter having a sextape. If I don’t receive my $1 million dollars. Its just business”

Worldstar’s founder says he’s still a little upset that Obama wouldn’t appear on Worldstar for an interview with him being black and all.

Husband Spends Life Savings at Strip Club, but Tells Wife He was Robbed at Gunpoint

“Last time I told my wife that-that ass had me hypnotize, but she wasn’t tryna hear that. So I lied.”

Said Oryan who was caught after his wife asked him to file a police report since he was robbed.

Oryan Moore told his wife of 15 years that he didn’t have their rent money and that they might be homeless, because men robbed him of $1200 dollars on his way home from working over, but actually spent it making it rain in the club.

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Teen Kills Mother for Buying Him a Pair of ‘Team Jordans’ for Back-to-School

“Bitch tried to embarass me”

Lemarcus was accused of stabbing his mother 4 and a half times until she bled out.

Lemarcus Ronoke-Johnson was arrested for murdering his mother after she bought him Team Jordans for back to school instead of regular retro Jordans, which Lemarcus says is what all the kids wear.

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“She knew what she was doing. Her wack ass boyfriend wear team Jordans and I was always snapping on that n*gga.”

Lemarcus is facing 47 years in jail for first degree murder and says if he gets one pair of real retro Jordans while on lock down it was all worth it.

New Study Reveals More than 84% of Women Living in Atlanta Were Born Men

“Its a good chance that the women you left the club with in Atlanta doesn’t have to sitdown to pee.”

Said head researcher on the study William Renzo.

A new study reveals that more than 84% of the women currently living in Atlanta were born men. Mostly because the city is a big melting pot that is very accepting to the LGBT community and many migrate their for better living.

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“What this means is 7 out of 10 “women” you meet in Atlanta could most likely beat you in arm wrestling” – Researcher

The study ended by revealing that a staggering 25% of men in Atlanta have more than likely went in the backdoor after a woman born a man revealed she was born Billy instead of Belinda.

Jordan: “Westbrook Can’t Keep Repping Jordan Brand Wearing All that ‘Gay Sh*t’ “

“That boy Caitlyn Jenner with the swag” – Jordan

Jordan said during a conference hearing for brand Jordan.

Michael Jordan says Russell Westbrook can no longer sponsoring Jordan Brand if he continues to wear feminine-gay sh*t.
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“Jordan brand is created for the finest athletes. Not for athletes who like to look at the finest athletes.” – Jordan

Jordan says he has a closet full of old manly clothes that Westbrook can borrow if he needs male style advice.

Trump Orders Secret Service to Shoot Hispanic Man for Snatching His Wig Off

“That wig is worth a lot of Pesos ese”

Donald Trump ordered his security team to shoot a Hispanic man who ran up and snatched off his signature hairpiece which highly resembles Garfield’s fur and then ran for cover during a campaign rally.

“That Nigga look like Bernie Sanders” – Protester

Republican 2016 U.S. presidential candidate businessman Donald Trump listens to a question at the first official Republican presidential candidates debate of the 2016 U.S. presidential campaign in Cleveland, Ohio, August 6, 2015. REUTERS/Brian Snyder - RTX1NEFT

“That’s why we need walls. One around America and One blocking me from anyone born with a taco in their mouth”.

Trump insist he didn’t say shoot the immigrant. He said “Shoot, damn illegal immigrants” Which is racist, but much better.

Arthur Creator Says “Black People Ruin Everything”

“Arthur was created to entertain kids. Not promote sex, drugs and being a THOT? WTF, is a thot?”

Creator of cartoon Arthur says black people ruin everything that is fun and wholesome after a slew of social media memes of the cartoon went viral promoting everything from weed to abortion.
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“Just because you have to go on Maury to find your father doesn’t mean you have the right to destroy my cartoon” – Arthur Creator

Arthur creator says he doesn’t apologize for his words, because this cartoon was made to educate not promote Thotism.

McDonald’s Employee Making $2,000 a Day Selling Weed Through Drive Thru Arrested

“Every happy meal came with a smile”

Said Jaris after being arrested for selling weed through an Atlanta McDonald’s drive through.

Jaris Antison was arrested at an Atlanta McDonald’s after being caught on camera serving more than 50 customers a day through the drive thru.

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“Niggas tryna ball out and buy Jordans. You can’t do that on Mickie D’s minimum wage” – Jaris

Jaris says he thinks McDonald’s should thank him, because people were so high they were eating those plastic beef burgers and enjoying it.

Study Reveals 35% of African Americans Overslept Election Day, Missing Their Chance to Vote

“We literally slept our way back into slavery.” Said one man who openly admitted to oversleeping and missing his chance to vote. “Now Trump’s in office, and I’m gonna have to figure out how to be a house n*gga. Because I ain’t pickin’ no cotton”

Study reveals that more than 35% of African Americans under the age of 25 overslept during election day,and missed their chances to voice their opinion by voting. Which equates to about 1.5 million votes not being counted.

“Trump’s POTUS, because n*ggas don’t know how to set an alarm on their iPhone. This some bullsh*t.”

Said one angry voter, that says he turned down some head just to make it to the polls in time to vote. Now that’s dedication.