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Father of 23 Kids Only Had Sex at Night, Because He Thought Sperm was Sleep

“I know it sound dumb, but think about it. They little humans just like us. They gotta sleep”

Said Johnathan to a news reporter about his 23 time going raw.

The father of over 23 kids, Johnathan Lattimoore says that he only had unprotected intercourse at night, because he remember learning through sex-ed that your sperm is asleep at night.

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College’s Black Male Enrollment Up 300% After Hiring White Girl with Ass as Professor

“You’d think the new jordans were coming out in her classroom.”

Attendance is up 300% after a college in South Florida start using their new thick white Professor in their local advertisement. Over 50 black male students enrolled within the first week up 300% from just 3-5 just a year ago.

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“She makes learning hard, and easy at the same time.” – Student

Even though enrollment is up 300% many believe the plan has backfired as the teacher is expecting, and at least 4 new students have been identified as the potential baby’s father.

New York Man Beats Man to Death with Timberland for Stepping on His Timberland

“Playing with my Timbs is like playing with my emotions”

A New York man beat a nightclub bouncer to death with his Timberland boot after he stepped on it, and refused to apologize.
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“I ain’t realize how much blood-red go with butter Timbs until seeing this sh*t”

Trayvus is facing 45 years at Rikers if he’s convicted of killing his outfit matching the wheat timbs with a New York fitted, and the murder of Johnathan Ramsuel.

Man Pays Off $50,000 Sallie Mae Loan With Dirty Strip Club Singles

“He had Sallie Mae front office smelling like Ciroc and period p*ssy” – Employee

42 year old Franklin Donald paid off his remaining $50,000 in Sallie Mae student loans in strip club singles after winning the lottery for millions, and deciding to hit the gentlemen’s club. “I just saved the worst of the ones that me and my crew threw that night. I mean we swiped butt cracks and v@ginas with them ones.”

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Franklin said at first Sallie Mae’s receptionist didn’t want to accept the smelly ones, but after realizing he hadn’t made a payment since he dropped out of community college. They decided a win is a win, and took the money.

Dubai Sugar Daddy Sues IG Model for Money Back, Tells Judge P*ssy was Trash

“I flew her first class to Dubai for some ‘aight p*ssy’. That’s a $10K trip, that kitty should’ve been sensational”

Said one Dubai baller who flew IG model Shala Showoff to his home in Dubai where they had intercourse, and he defecated on her face multiple times while mouth was open.

Krishanaroff Pinshinksy says he flew Shala to Dubai to have a good time, and all he had was rug burn on his weenie from 45 minutes of dry head, and intercourse.

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Cop Ask Woman Show Him “What That Mouth Do” to Get Out of Ticket, Promoted

“I felt disrespected, and humiliated, but I also didn’t want a ticket so I sucked him off.”

Florida police officer Jim Slankey was caught on cop cam asking a female driver to show him what that mouth do after she asked him what could she do to get out of a 30 miles per hour over the speed limit ticket.
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“I heard a rapper say it and thought it was cool. Didn’t know it meant suck my d**k. My apologies” – Officer

Officer Slankey has been promoted, because they say they’ve never seen so much honesty from a police man in so many years. “When women bribe us to get out of tickets. We honestly all just want a little mouth. His forward approach of 100% honesty of how to get out of a ticket is commendable.”

Obese Wife Kills Husband For Replacing Her 20pc McNugget with Vegetables

“He was worried about her health, and his safety whenever she’d get on top and ride the ‘D’ ” – Husband’s Brother

Said one Ohio man’s brother in law who’s sister murdered her husband because he kept replacing her McDonalds nuggest with a box full of healthy vegetables.

“She will never be an Instagram model getting paid $5K for a club walk thru, and get skeeted on by local promoters if she keeps eating McDonalds daily.” – Husband’s Brother

The sad thing about this story is she’ll never get any McDonald’s from behind bars.

PETA Member Says Gucci’s a Dead N*gger After Seeing Him in 12 Dead Animal Fur Coat

“How would he like it if I wore a jacket made of all of his dead homies?”

MEMBER OF PETA …Says Gucci Mane a DEAD N*GGER After Seeing Photo of Him Wearing a Fur Jacket with 12 DIFFERENT Dead Animals (Say GUWOP is Dead on SIGHT!!)

A man claiming to be a head member at animals rights group PETA says Gucci Mane is a DEAD N*GGER on sight, and is talking like he’s going to put money on GUWOPS head after seeing him wearing a fur coat with more than 12 different types of dead animal on it.
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“Gucci mane sees it as balling. We see it as first degree MURDER.”

Gucci Mane says he already has one body under his belt, and won’t hesitate to add another if some animal protecting f**k boy runs up on him.

Wife Divorces Husband Because He Said Her Booty Taste Better than Her Cooking

“He’d rather eat my ass than my cooking. Says it taste like I marinate my chicken in water.”

Said an Atlanta woman who claims her husband likes her butt more than her food.

An Atlanta wife filed for divorce from her husband of 23 years, because she says he’d rather eat her behind than her food.

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Man Kills Girlfriend in Her Sleep Because Her Eyebrows Gave Him Nightmares

“Them shits look like the Batman signal and that hoe ain’t no super hero”

Said a Louisiana man who was arrested for murder late Monday night.

Kenneth Swanson was arrested for murder after neighbors called the police once they heard a loud gunshot at their apartment home. Police arrived and found Kenneth’s girlfriend dead where he admitted to shooting her, because her eyebrows repeatedly gave him nightmares.

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