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Dubai Sugar Daddy Sues IG Model for Money Back, Tells Judge P*ssy was Trash

“I flew her first class to Dubai for some ‘aight p*ssy’. That’s a $10K trip, that kitty should’ve been sensational”

Said one Dubai baller who flew IG model Shala Showoff to his home in Dubai where they had intercourse, and he defecated on her face multiple times while mouth was open.

Krishanaroff Pinshinksy says he flew Shala to Dubai to have a good time, and all he had was rug burn on his weenie from 45 minutes of dry head, and intercourse.

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Cop Ask Woman Show Him “What That Mouth Do” to Get Out of Ticket, Promoted

“I felt disrespected, and humiliated, but I also didn’t want a ticket so I sucked him off.”

Florida police officer Jim Slankey was caught on cop cam asking a female driver to show him what that mouth do after she asked him what could she do to get out of a 30 miles per hour over the speed limit ticket.
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“I heard a rapper say it and thought it was cool. Didn’t know it meant suck my d**k. My apologies” – Officer

Officer Slankey has been promoted, because they say they’ve never seen so much honesty from a police man in so many years. “When women bribe us to get out of tickets. We honestly all just want a little mouth. His forward approach of 100% honesty of how to get out of a ticket is commendable.”

Obese Wife Kills Husband For Replacing Her 20pc McNugget with Vegetables

“He was worried about her health, and his safety whenever she’d get on top and ride the ‘D’ ” – Husband’s Brother

Said one Ohio man’s brother in law who’s sister murdered her husband because he kept replacing her McDonalds nuggest with a box full of healthy vegetables.

“She will never be an Instagram model getting paid $5K for a club walk thru, and get skeeted on by local promoters if she keeps eating McDonalds daily.” – Husband’s Brother

The sad thing about this story is she’ll never get any McDonald’s from behind bars.

PETA Member Says Gucci’s a Dead N*gger After Seeing Him in 12 Dead Animal Fur Coat

“How would he like it if I wore a jacket made of all of his dead homies?”

MEMBER OF PETA …Says Gucci Mane a DEAD N*GGER After Seeing Photo of Him Wearing a Fur Jacket with 12 DIFFERENT Dead Animals (Say GUWOP is Dead on SIGHT!!)

A man claiming to be a head member at animals rights group PETA says Gucci Mane is a DEAD N*GGER on sight, and is talking like he’s going to put money on GUWOPS head after seeing him wearing a fur coat with more than 12 different types of dead animal on it.
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“Gucci mane sees it as balling. We see it as first degree MURDER.”

Gucci Mane says he already has one body under his belt, and won’t hesitate to add another if some animal protecting f**k boy runs up on him.

Wife Divorces Husband Because He Said Her Booty Taste Better than Her Cooking

“He’d rather eat my ass than my cooking. Says it taste like I marinate my chicken in water.”

Said an Atlanta woman who claims her husband likes her butt more than her food.

An Atlanta wife filed for divorce from her husband of 23 years, because she says he’d rather eat her behind than her food.

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Man Kills Girlfriend in Her Sleep Because Her Eyebrows Gave Him Nightmares

“Them shits look like the Batman signal and that hoe ain’t no super hero”

Said a Louisiana man who was arrested for murder late Monday night.

Kenneth Swanson was arrested for murder after neighbors called the police once they heard a loud gunshot at their apartment home. Police arrived and found Kenneth’s girlfriend dead where he admitted to shooting her, because her eyebrows repeatedly gave him nightmares.

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Preacher Arrested for Drowning His Sidechick During Baptizing Ceremony

“She was trying to f**k up a good thing. I was getting double the p***y for 32 years, then she decided to catch feelings”

A Florida preacher was arrested for attempting to drown his sidechick while baptizing her during a Sunday ceremony where bystanders realized things were going wrong after 5 minutes past, and the pastor hadn’t brought her up for air.

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Kevin Durant Tweets: “Team Darkskin, F**k a Drake!”

“That Beige n*gga getting wayyy too cocky nowadays. I ain’t Meek”

Golden state warriors star Kevin Durant tweeted f**k rap superstar Aubrey Graham after a run in during Raptors vs Warriors, and the Meek killer/rapper shoulder bumped him after their loss.

Kevin Durant says if he wasn’t about to make $15 million over the next 5 games alone he would’ve beat the love songs out of Drake in front of millions of fans.

Crip Gang Member Dies of Blood Lost After Refusing Red Blood Transfusion

“He died a real nigga. Respect” – Crip Member

Said one crip gang member about their falling soldier.

Los Angeles crip gang member, Rodromas Johnson refused to have a blood transfusion after being critically injured in a shootout simply because blood is red.

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New York Man Ask Judge to Drop Child Support So He Can Buy More Timbs

“I ain’t bought a pair of Timbs since 50 Cent drop ‘In Da Club’ my guy.”

Said Tequarius about his love for Timberland boots.

Tequarius asked a New York judge if he could drop his child support payments so he could buy more Timberland boots. Sadly his request was denied, but child support was lowered.

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