Trump Says Lesbians Are a Waste of Vagina

“You have God’s gift to men and you’re wasting it on a woman”

Said Trump during a rally.

Trump says that lesbians are wasting their vagina on women when God created women to serve men with that very part of their body.

“She cant do what I could do if i was 47 years younger.” – Trump

Trump says he told his daughter at a very young age what her vagina was for, and she has used it to her advantage throughout life.

Bill Clinton Punches Trump for Asking Who Has the Better Mouth Monica, or Hillary?

“Bill. Which mouth do you prefer in the White House?”

Said Trump as he was walking past former President Bill Clinton during a Presidential fundraiser.

Donald Trump asked former President Bill Clinton what did Monica and Hillary mouth do which in slang terms means who gives the better fellatio.

“Inquiring minds wanna know. I grab them by the pus’ while you just shove it in their mouths?!?” – Trump

Trump says he just wanted to know so he wouldn’t be the only thing good at sucking running for the Presidential election.

Monica Lewinsky “I Wouldn’t Give Trump Head If His Name was Bill Clinton”

“If it wasn’t for that awful wig …I might let him put the tip in, but nah.”

Said Monica Lewinksy.

After being asked her thoughts on potential President Donald Trump, and if he was to win would she do him an oral favor in the White House the world famous thot responded “I wouldn’t give him head if his name was Bill Clinton”.

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Trump Says America is Treating Clowns Like They’re Black People

“Everyone’s all. Shoot first. Ask questions last.”

With clown unemployment up 72% Donald felt the need to speak on the injustice going on in America with clowns. Donald says that America is treating clowns like black people not allowing them to fairly live life as clowns, and not be harassed just for the colorful color of their skin.

“Clowns, and I have two things in common. We stand out, and our hair comes off if you pull too hard.”

Many are saying Trump has stepped up for the clowns of America, because he’s recently become one.

Bill Clinton Diagnosed with Illness That Makes White People Age in Dog Years

“Looks like he’s aging in dog years”

Former President Bill Clinton turns 71 next week, but according to appearances he seems to be much older.

Former President Bill Clinton birthday is next week where the first President to get head in the white house looks to be more than 107 years old.

“That damn Monica Lewinsky sucked the soul out of me. I ain’t been right ever since.” – Clinton

Bill Clinton says he owes Hillary for keeping him away from anymore skeezers sucking his remaining years of life out of him.

Hillary Promises Lebron James a New Hairline If She Becomes President

“There’s two things women know about. Hair, and shopping. So I chose to trust her word.” – Lebron

Lebron says his choice to endorse Hillary Clinton stemmed from the fact that she had no problem lying to his face by telling him she could get him a new hairline if elected first female President of the United States.


“Lebron is an amazing basketball player. An Amazing Father, but his hairline is where the amazing ends.” – Hillary

Lebron believes in Hillary like he believed in all the hair regrow companies that have failed after taken his money over the years.

Hillary Kicks Bill Clinton Out the House for Naming Family Dog ‘Monica’

“20 years and he still ain’t got over what that mouth do”

Said Hillary in a leaked email to her bestfriend according to TMZ blog.

Hillary Clinton kicked her husband of over 30 years out of their mansion after he joked about naming their new family dog ‘Monica’ on a radio show.

“Ain’t nothing funny about cheating. Imagine if I sucked Donald’s d**k then asked to name our son after him?” – Hillary

People are saying without Bill, Hillary has no hope in hell of getting any black votes so she might as well get over it.

Derrick Rose Endorses Trump After He Promises to Fix His Knee If Elected

“Its not only another chance at playing the game I love on a top level, but also another chance at being able to wake up in the morning without seeing a meme about my knee. Don’t get me wrong …they’re funny, but enough is enough”

Said Rose to an ESPN reporter.

Donald Trump promised basketball player Derrick Rose that he would pay for a foreign knee surgery that would cost an estimated $500,000 dollars and gained one of his first prominent African American backers. The surgery can only be performed in Bangkok, and Trump has assured Derrick he will pay for the surgery and also fly him out on one of his private jets.


Trump says he tried to tell all his loyal supporters that the blacks love him, and Derrick is just a weak step in the right direction.

Trump on Hillary: “You Cannot Trust a Woman Who Doesn’t Suck D*ck”

“First time I agreed with Trump” – Black Man

Said Donald Trump during a final campaign rally Monday night.

Trump told thousands of his supporters that “You simply cannot trust a woman who doesn’t suck d*ck” and that anybody who would vote for that type of woman does not care about one single man in the United States of America.


“Bill cheated on her, because she doesn’t suck. And America will be cheating themselves if they vote for her, because she doesn’t suck.” – Trump

Trump says his wife Melania sucks his invisible peen all the time and twice when pvrnhub.com is taking too long to buffer.

Trump Says Pokemon Go Should Help You Find Illegal Immigrants

“Gotta catchem all” – Trump

Said Trump about all the illegal immigrants coming into the U.S.

Trump says Pokemon Go should tweak the app to help you find illegal immigrants living within the United States.

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