Hillary Clinton Rushed to Hospital After Overdosing on Hot Sauce

“She’s been depressed since losing, and Hillary really loves her Texas Pete and Ninja Squirrel”

Said her publicist about her facing death from over indulging in hot sauce.

Hillary Clinton was rushed to a New York hospital after ingesting too much hot sauce, and almost dying in what doctors are calling a hot sauce overdose.

“Not to be racist, but she loves hot sauce as much as any red blooded African American does”

Hillary Clinton promises that this isn’t a publicity play to keep black people on her side. She promises.

Obama Ready to Leave White House So He Can Get Back to Jordans & Newports

“Just ready to get this election year over so I can get back to being black.”

Said Barack Obama early this morning during a phone interview with Power 105 Breakfast Club.

President Barack Obama says he’s ready to get this election year over so that on January 20, 2017 he can leave and get back to what he loves. Being black.

“I got the same vices as every other black men. Jordans, Newports, and big booty women. I know yall see what Michelle got. That’s wifey.”

Obama says he’s had fun over the last 8 years, but if he never seen another White House in his life he’d die a happy man.

Trump Says Lesbians Are a Waste of Vagina

“You have God’s gift to men and you’re wasting it on a woman”

Said Trump during a rally.

Trump says that lesbians are wasting their vagina on women when God created women to serve men with that very part of their body.

“She cant do what I could do if i was 47 years younger.” – Trump

Trump says he told his daughter at a very young age what her vagina was for, and she has used it to her advantage throughout life.

Bill Clinton Punches Trump for Asking Who Has the Better Mouth Monica, or Hillary?

“Bill. Which mouth do you prefer in the White House?”

Said Trump as he was walking past former President Bill Clinton during a Presidential fundraiser.

Donald Trump asked former President Bill Clinton what did Monica and Hillary mouth do which in slang terms means who gives the better fellatio.

“Inquiring minds wanna know. I grab them by the pus’ while you just shove it in their mouths?!?” – Trump

Trump says he just wanted to know so he wouldn’t be the only thing good at sucking running for the Presidential election.

Monica Lewinsky “I Wouldn’t Give Trump Head If His Name was Bill Clinton”

“If it wasn’t for that awful wig …I might let him put the tip in, but nah.”

Said Monica Lewinksy.

After being asked her thoughts on potential President Donald Trump, and if he was to win would she do him an oral favor in the White House the world famous thot responded “I wouldn’t give him head if his name was Bill Clinton”.

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