politics

Trump Says America is Treating Clowns Like They’re Black People

“Everyone’s all. Shoot first. Ask questions last.”

With clown unemployment up 72% Donald felt the need to speak on the injustice going on in America with clowns. Donald says that America is treating clowns like black people not allowing them to fairly live life as clowns, and not be harassed just for the colorful color of their skin.
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“Clowns, and I have two things in common. We stand out, and our hair comes off if you pull too hard.”

Many are saying Trump has stepped up for the clowns of America, because he’s recently become one.

Bill Clinton Diagnosed with Illness That Makes White People Age in Dog Years

“Looks like he’s aging in dog years”

Former President Bill Clinton turns 71 next week, but according to appearances he seems to be much older.

Former President Bill Clinton birthday is next week where the first President to get head in the white house looks to be more than 107 years old.
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“That damn Monica Lewinsky sucked the soul out of me. I ain’t been right ever since.” – Clinton

Bill Clinton says he owes Hillary for keeping him away from anymore skeezers sucking his remaining years of life out of him.

Hillary Promises Lebron James a New Hairline If She Becomes President

“There’s two things women know about. Hair, and shopping. So I chose to trust her word.” – Lebron

Lebron says his choice to endorse Hillary Clinton stemmed from the fact that she had no problem lying to his face by telling him she could get him a new hairline if elected first female President of the United States.

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“Lebron is an amazing basketball player. An Amazing Father, but his hairline is where the amazing ends.” – Hillary

Lebron believes in Hillary like he believed in all the hair regrow companies that have failed after taken his money over the years.

Hillary Kicks Bill Clinton Out the House for Naming Family Dog ‘Monica’

“20 years and he still ain’t got over what that mouth do”

Said Hillary in a leaked email to her bestfriend according to TMZ blog.

Hillary Clinton kicked her husband of over 30 years out of their mansion after he joked about naming their new family dog ‘Monica’ on a radio show.

“Ain’t nothing funny about cheating. Imagine if I sucked Donald’s d**k then asked to name our son after him?” – Hillary

People are saying without Bill, Hillary has no hope in hell of getting any black votes so she might as well get over it.

Derrick Rose Endorses Trump After He Promises to Fix His Knee If Elected

“Its not only another chance at playing the game I love on a top level, but also another chance at being able to wake up in the morning without seeing a meme about my knee. Don’t get me wrong …they’re funny, but enough is enough”

Said Rose to an ESPN reporter.

Donald Trump promised basketball player Derrick Rose that he would pay for a foreign knee surgery that would cost an estimated $500,000 dollars and gained one of his first prominent African American backers. The surgery can only be performed in Bangkok, and Trump has assured Derrick he will pay for the surgery and also fly him out on one of his private jets.

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Trump says he tried to tell all his loyal supporters that the blacks love him, and Derrick is just a weak step in the right direction.