politics

Trump on Hillary: “You Cannot Trust a Woman Who Doesn’t Suck D*ck”

“First time I agreed with Trump” – Black Man

Said Donald Trump during a final campaign rally Monday night.

Trump told thousands of his supporters that “You simply cannot trust a woman who doesn’t suck d*ck” and that anybody who would vote for that type of woman does not care about one single man in the United States of America.

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“Bill cheated on her, because she doesn’t suck. And America will be cheating themselves if they vote for her, because she doesn’t suck.” – Trump

Trump says his wife Melania sucks his invisible peen all the time and twice when pvrnhub.com is taking too long to buffer.

Trump Says Pokemon Go Should Help You Find Illegal Immigrants

“Gotta catchem all” – Trump

Said Trump about all the illegal immigrants coming into the U.S.

Trump says Pokemon Go should tweak the app to help you find illegal immigrants living within the United States.

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Trump Calls Bald Black Woman “Little Bill” at Campaign Rally

“Not my fault they all look alike” – Trump

Trump called a #BlackLivesMatter female protester with short hair little bill after she asked him to clarify some of his earlier statements during a campaign rally.

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“I’m just saying men are generally bald. Not women. So grow some hair or buy an amazing hairpiece like me” – Trump

Trump apologized to the woman and also offered a coupon for some fried chicken from KFC. Hot sauce sold separately.

Michelle Obama Drops Melania Trump Diss Track

“Turn my headphones up” – Michelle

Said our first lady Michelle Obama in her new diss track against Melania Trump “Michelle Hell” which she dropped on Apple Music early this morning and has already gone quadruple platinum with over 5 million downloads and counting.

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“Barack got a few bars on that joint, but he the President of the United States so he didn’t want to give the public too much” – Michelle

Michelle Obama is thinking about starting up her own record label for troubled youth once her and Obama vacate the white house.

Trump Releases Video of Michelle Giving Melania Permission to Use Speech


“I’m not saying this proves that MOST minorities are liars, but ….” – Trump

Trump released a video on his wife’s Snapchat of our first and only ever black first lady Michelle Obama giving his wife Melania permission to use parts of her speech and Trump even said that Michelle’s “black ass” inspired her.

“Kim K. taught me” – Trump

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Trump taking a shot at Taylor Swift who also recently proven to be a “lying ass b*tch” after Kim Kardashian leaked a video of her giving boyfriend, Kanye permission to use lyrics in his song “Famous”.

Trump says he’s not going to sue the internet for slandering his wife’s name in hilarious memes and parody videos, but would like Michelle Obama to personally apologize on video while drinking kool-aid.