J.R. Smith Facing Suspension for Spiking Team Gatorade with Hennessy

“We spose to be quenching our thirst, but instead we getting faded like a jumpshot”

Cavaliers small forward J.R. Smith is facing suspension after the water boy noticed the gatorade smelled like bad decisions, and unprotected s3x, also known as Hennessy, and immediate alerted head coach.

“I don’t put anything pass J.R. with him HENNYthing possible” – Head Coach

We would just order him to rehab, but he’d probably just pay someone to bring him Henny. So we’re thinking about hitting him where it hurts. Pockets. J.R. insist the incident was all a bad joke gone wrong.

Floyd Mayweather Arrested for DUI After He Couldn’t Recite the Alphabet

“Yall know damn well I can’t read.”

Said ex boxer Floyd Mayweather after getting arrested for DUI, because he couldn’t recite the alphabet.

Floyd Mayweather was arrested for DUI, because he failed to recite the Alphabet, but he says its because he doesn’t know it. Not because he was drunk.

“I was learning how to run around the ring while yall was learning how to run through the alphabet.”

Floyd was released on $1300 bond, but actually didn’t have to pay bond, but he read his citation wrong.

Stephen A. Smith Says The Greatest Comeback in NBA History is Lebron’s Hairline

“He should’ve been fined for his hair follicles. Not flopping. He should’ve went bald 2 championships rings ago.”

Said Stephen A. Smith on his show.

Stephen A. Smith said that Lebron James hairline was the greatest comeback in NBA history when asked by Charles Barkley what was his take on the greatest comeback.

“His hairline is turrible. It should be a misdemeanor to walk around with your hairline in the middle of your head.” – Charles Barkley

Stephen A. Smith says he himself is thinking about going bald, but the new High definition cameras they use on First Take wouldn’t be that flattering on his aging forehead.

Jordan: “Westbrook Can’t Keep Repping Jordan Brand Wearing All that ‘Gay Sh*t’ “

“That boy Caitlyn Jenner with the swag” – Jordan

Jordan said during a conference hearing for brand Jordan.

Michael Jordan says Russell Westbrook can no longer sponsoring Jordan Brand if he continues to wear feminine-gay sh*t.

“Jordan brand is created for the finest athletes. Not for athletes who like to look at the finest athletes.” – Jordan

Jordan says he has a closet full of old manly clothes that Westbrook can borrow if he needs male style advice.

Cam Newton No Longer Remembers How to Dab After Concussion Hit

“I thought dabbing was a type of weed?” – Cam

Said Cam at a doctor’s appoint in Charlotte to get an update on his concussion.

Doctors are saying pro footballer Cam Newton no longer remembers how to do his famous dab touch down dance after a crushing hit in multiple games in 2016-17 season.


“People tell me you touch your nose to your forearm, but last time I checked that’s how you sneeze.”

Cam Newton concussion status is still under investigation, but this is evidence that he is definitely hurt or stupid.