sports

Kobe Now Smoking Weed To Deal with Being Around Wife and Kids 24/7

“Retired life is a motherf*cker.

Said Kobe about life while retired.

Kobe says he has taken up the pastime of smoking marijuana to deal with being around his wife and kids all the time as a retired NBA star.

“I never passed the ball, but I always pass the blunt”

Kobe says weed has made him more relaxed and think deeper on why he never liked to pass the ball.

Kyrie Irving Taking Year Off to Help Relaunch And1 Basketball

“I did what paid the bills. Now its time to do what makes me happy”

Cleveland Cavalier’s guard Kyrie Irving revealed that he will be taking the 2016-2017 year off to help relaunch once prominent And1 Basketball tour company.

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“Crossing n*ggas up is one of my favorite pasttimes”

Kyrie tells his fans not to worry he will be back in the NBA faster than you can say “Lebron ain’t got no hairline”.

Kevin Durant Tweets “F**k Stephen A. Smith & His Uncle Tom Ass Opinions”

Kevin Durant had some choice words for Stephen A. Smith on his Twitter page this afternoon.

BREAKING: OKC Fan Takes a Shit on Kevin Durant’s Doorstep

The now Warriors baller tweeted “f*ck Stephen A. Smith and His Uncle Tom Ass Opinions” to his 14.3 million followers on Twitter.

Stephen A. Smith dropped a video on his Facebook page down talking the super star for choosing to jump on the Warriors bandwagon to assure himself a championship title.

Stephen A. Smith has yet to respond, but you can bet he has something witty to say hidden deep inside that forehead.

Stephen A. Smith Says The Greatest Comeback in NBA History is Lebron’s Hairline

“He should’ve been fined for his hair follicles. Not flopping. He should’ve went bald 2 championships rings ago.”

Said Stephen A. Smith on his show.

Stephen A. Smith said that Lebron James hairline was the greatest comeback in NBA history when asked by Charles Barkley what was his take on the greatest comeback.
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“His hairline is turrible. It should be a misdemeanor to walk around with your hairline in the middle of your head.” – Charles Barkley

Stephen A. Smith says he himself is thinking about going bald, but the new High definition cameras they use on First Take wouldn’t be that flattering on his aging forehead.

Lebron James Mom Offers Delonte West Spare Room at Cleveland Mansion

“He already knows the address. I just need the media to get the word out to him. No friend of James should be homeless” – Lebron’s Mother

Lebron James mother reached out to media outlets to let Delonte West who was reported homeless after fans seen him begging for money on the streets.

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“I would’ve offered clothes too, but he’s not as big as my son, James. At least in the arms and the legs area, but he’s big where it counts”

Lebron’s mother says the offer is open to Delonte as long as he doesn’t bother Lebron’s headband collection during his stay.

Kyrie Says White Women on Boat Were Lifeguards “Safety First”

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“Black women can’t swim and don’t like to get their weave wet. Is the risk of drowning really worth my NBA career?” – Kyrie

Kyrie Irving cleared up all the confusion surrounding his “no black girls” yacht party that went viral over the weekend and let people know that many of the white girls on board were lifeguards.

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“White people can swim since birth. Just like n*ggas are born loving jordans. Its just in their DNA.” – Kyrie

Kyrie insist that he likes all types of v@gina and has no preference toward white or black women.

Teammates Catch Odell Beckham Jr. Masturbating to Antonio Brown’s Twerk Video

“After seeing him beating his meat to a dude twerking were wondering if he’s really a ‘wide receiver’?!?” – Teammate

Said one Giants baller who wanted to remain anonymous.

New York Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. was caught masturbating in the locker room by his teammates before practice Thursday morning.

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“You could tell he was really into it, because he wasn’t even using lotion. Straight hand to meat action.” – Giants player

Teammates say they’re worried he’ll never catch a ball again the way he was jacking his weenie with good hand.

Curry 2 Lows Now Most Worn Sneaker at Trump Rally’s

“I told you my followers love the blacks or else they wouldn’t support such a magnificent sneaker” – Trump

Donald Trump says that Stephen Curry’s new sneaker is the most worn shoe at all of his Rally’s which are mostly attended by white males between the ages of 40 – 65 which also happens to be the most racist age of Caucasian in America.

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“I leave my job as a middle school P.E. teacher and head straight to the Trump rally’s. They’re so comfortable.”

Trump says he’s reached out to Stephen for an endorsement deal but the Warriors star hasn’t returned any of his calls.

Curry 2 Lows Now Most Worn Shoe by Old-White Trump Supporters

Dr. Phil Noticed a Herpes Wart on Draymond’s Dick Pic on Snapchat, NBA Investigating

“I’m a fan of Draymond’s, but I’m a bigger fan of wearing condoms” – Dr. Phil

Tv Doctor Dr. Phil noticed an herpes wart on basketball player Draymond Green after the baller accidentally posted a picture of his penis to Snapchat, and the NBA is now investigating.

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“I know his snap chat was an accident, but going raw in the groupie that gave him herpes, was not” – Dr. Phile

The NBA has temporarily removed Draymond from basketball camp, because all the other NBA ballers are starting to call him yucky.

J.R. Smith: “$15 Million Barely Covers Monthly ‘Henny and B*tches’ Expenses”

“With the cost of henny rising and b*tches charging extra for giving head with no condom $15 million is the LEAST the Cavs can do”

J.R. Smith insist his $15 per million ask isn’t a big deal and it barely covers his Hennessy and b*tches expenses after tax.

“Yall got n*ggas coming off the bench getting paid more. Meaning they can have MORE b*tches and MORE henny than J.R. That ain’t happening”

– J.R. Smith

J.R. Smith says he wouldn’t be the man he is today if it wasn’t for henny and b*tches and doesn’t plan to stop supporting that habit anytime soon.