sports

Iverson Considering Return to NBA & Even Willing to ‘Practice

“Me and practice didn’t get along in the past, but these new NBA deals got a n*gga feeling like practice ain’t so bad”

Said Iverson.

Allen Iverson is considering returning to the NBA after recently retiring his Jersey and has interest from a few teams.

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“We’d take Iverson and let him sit in whenever Derek’s injured. So he’d pretty much play the whole season.” – Bulls

Iverson is negotiating with teams with numbers in excess of anything $100K more than the amount of debt he is currently in.

Lebron James Mom Offers Delonte West Spare Room at Cleveland Mansion

“He already knows the address. I just need the media to get the word out to him. No friend of James should be homeless” – Lebron’s Mother

Lebron James mother reached out to media outlets to let Delonte West who was reported homeless after fans seen him begging for money on the streets.

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“I would’ve offered clothes too, but he’s not as big as my son, James. At least in the arms and the legs area, but he’s big where it counts”

Lebron’s mother says the offer is open to Delonte as long as he doesn’t bother Lebron’s headband collection during his stay.

Knicks Ban D. Rose from Having Sex, Afraid Knee Might Go Out Before Season Ends

“He can’t even hit a b*tch from the back without his knee aching” – Coach

The Knicks have protected their millino dollar investment name D. Rose by contractually banning the NBA player from having sex until the season is over. Derrick has been seen all over instagram with his new instagram model chick, and coaches have taken notice.
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“He’s got this new girlfriend that likes to f**k him like he’s 21 again. He’s 28, and his knees are 50.” – Coach

D. Rose has bought a strap on and a couple vibrators for his new chick for the times when he can’t get the job done.

Derrick Rose Endorses Trump After He Promises to Fix His Knee If Elected

“Its not only another chance at playing the game I love on a top level, but also another chance at being able to wake up in the morning without seeing a meme about my knee. Don’t get me wrong …they’re funny, but enough is enough”

Said Rose to an ESPN reporter.

Donald Trump promised basketball player Derrick Rose that he would pay for a foreign knee surgery that would cost an estimated $500,000 dollars and gained one of his first prominent African American backers. The surgery can only be performed in Bangkok, and Trump has assured Derrick he will pay for the surgery and also fly him out on one of his private jets.

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Trump says he tried to tell all his loyal supporters that the blacks love him, and Derrick is just a weak step in the right direction.

Cam Newton Retiring from NFL to Open Up a Thrift Shop

“Tryna get Macklemore to go in with me but he’s not returning my calls.”

Says Cam Newton about “Thrift Shop” singer/rapper/culture stealer Macklemore.

Panthers Quarterback has informed teammates that he will be taking his talents elsewhere to open up a trendy Thriftshop in the Charlotte area.

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