sports

Teammates Catch Odell Beckham Jr. Masturbating to Clemson Finger Butt Video

“He just kept playing it over, and over again”

Said a teammate of Odell Beckham after listening by the door as he jacked off.

Teammates of Odell Beckham caught him masturbating to the Clemson video of a player putting his finger in the opposing teams player butt.

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Nba Cancels 2016-2017 Season and Awards Title to Warriors in Advance

“Durant, Steph, and the other light skin guy that can shoot 3’s?!? Its just not fair to the other teams” – Commissioner

NBA commissioner decided to award the 2017 NBA title to the Golden State Warriors after Durant made the decision to join Steph for the 2016-2017 season.

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“I welcome the extra time off, because I’ve been wanting to focus on learning how to use a brush for the first time” – Durant

Steph plans to spend the extra time off reading bible versus and taste testing wife, Ayesha’s recipes.

Floyd Got So Frustrated Reading a Big Worded Text from TI He Threw Phone in Trash

“This is an electronic message sent to inform you, Floyd Mayweather. That it has come to my immediate attention that you have disrespected me, and my marriage to the utmost degree, and I will handle you in the appropriate manner.

I’m popping off on sight, f**k n*gga.”

Friends are saying that boxer Floyd “I got all this money, but can’t read so how did I know to sign the right contract” Mayweather got so frustrated reading a big worded text from r
rapper T.I. about him dancing with his wife that he threw his whole phone in the trash.

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“TI could’ve simply told me he gonna pull up on me, but no. This n*gga had me asking my assistant to pull out a dictionary just to read a damn text message.”

T.I. said it was all part of his plan to throw the illiterate boxer off from what he really has planned. A celebrity spelling bee.

Curry 2 Lows Now Most Worn Sneaker at Trump Rally’s

“I told you my followers love the blacks or else they wouldn’t support such a magnificent sneaker” – Trump

Donald Trump says that Stephen Curry’s new sneaker is the most worn shoe at all of his Rally’s which are mostly attended by white males between the ages of 40 – 65 which also happens to be the most racist age of Caucasian in America.

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“I leave my job as a middle school P.E. teacher and head straight to the Trump rally’s. They’re so comfortable.”

Trump says he’s reached out to Stephen for an endorsement deal but the Warriors star hasn’t returned any of his calls.

Curry 2 Lows Now Most Worn Shoe by Old-White Trump Supporters

Kyrie Irving Taking Year Off to Help Relaunch And1 Basketball

“I did what paid the bills. Now its time to do what makes me happy”

Cleveland Cavalier’s guard Kyrie Irving revealed that he will be taking the 2016-2017 year off to help relaunch once prominent And1 Basketball tour company.

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“Crossing n*ggas up is one of my favorite pasttimes”

Kyrie tells his fans not to worry he will be back in the NBA faster than you can say “Lebron ain’t got no hairline”.

Man Shoots Up 4th of July Party Because Everyone Had on Same Outfit as Him

“My Footlocker connect assured me not one other n*gga in Chicago had this flag jersey”

Said Raymond about shooting up the party.

Raymond Sanchez shot up a Chicago 4th of July party, because upon his arrival he realized every black man in attendance had on the same outfit as him.

“How many air forces and camo shorts can one party have? Ain’t none of us gonna get any p*ssy” – Raymond

Raymond will be charged with pre meditated first degree murder, because police say it isn’t no way he didn’t know every n*gga was gonna wear that outfit. Because they do every year.

Cam Newton Retiring from NFL to Open Up a Thrift Shop

“Tryna get Macklemore to go in with me but he’s not returning my calls.”

Says Cam Newton about “Thrift Shop” singer/rapper/culture stealer Macklemore.

Panthers Quarterback has informed teammates that he will be taking his talents elsewhere to open up a trendy Thriftshop in the Charlotte area.

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Knicks Ban D. Rose from Having Sex, Afraid Knee Might Go Out Before Season Ends

“He can’t even hit a b*tch from the back without his knee aching” – Coach

The Knicks have protected their millino dollar investment name D. Rose by contractually banning the NBA player from having sex until the season is over. Derrick has been seen all over instagram with his new instagram model chick, and coaches have taken notice.
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“He’s got this new girlfriend that likes to f**k him like he’s 21 again. He’s 28, and his knees are 50.” – Coach

D. Rose has bought a strap on and a couple vibrators for his new chick for the times when he can’t get the job done.

Nba Files for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy

“We’ve spent so much on the draft, trades and Lebron’s yearly supply of headbands we can’t afford to fund the 2016-2017 year”

The NBA filed Chapter 11 Bankruptcy after they were informed they have exceeded the budget by more than $20 million before entering the 2016-2017 title year.

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“If Jordan can give us one day of the earnings he gets from his sneakers we can possibly get back on track. Ain’t no Michael Jordan without the NBA. Remember that.”

The Nba is going to push the start of the season up three months to possibly raise more with off season activities, and getting refunds on Lebron’s over 10,000 Nike branded headbands.

Dr. Phil Noticed a Herpes Wart on Draymond’s Dick Pic on Snapchat, NBA Investigating

“I’m a fan of Draymond’s, but I’m a bigger fan of wearing condoms” – Dr. Phil

Tv Doctor Dr. Phil noticed an herpes wart on basketball player Draymond Green after the baller accidentally posted a picture of his penis to Snapchat, and the NBA is now investigating.

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“I know his snap chat was an accident, but going raw in the groupie that gave him herpes, was not” – Dr. Phile

The NBA has temporarily removed Draymond from basketball camp, because all the other NBA ballers are starting to call him yucky.