sports

Teammates Catch Odell Beckham Jr. Masturbating to Clemson Finger Butt Video

“He just kept playing it over, and over again”

Said a teammate of Odell Beckham after listening by the door as he jacked off.

Teammates of Odell Beckham caught him masturbating to the Clemson video of a player putting his finger in the opposing teams player butt.

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Man Shoots Up 4th of July Party Because Everyone Had on Same Outfit as Him

“My Footlocker connect assured me not one other n*gga in Chicago had this flag jersey”

Said Raymond about shooting up the party.

Raymond Sanchez shot up a Chicago 4th of July party, because upon his arrival he realized every black man in attendance had on the same outfit as him.

“How many air forces and camo shorts can one party have? Ain’t none of us gonna get any p*ssy” – Raymond

Raymond will be charged with pre meditated first degree murder, because police say it isn’t no way he didn’t know every n*gga was gonna wear that outfit. Because they do every year.

Iverson Considering Return to NBA & Even Willing to ‘Practice

“Me and practice didn’t get along in the past, but these new NBA deals got a n*gga feeling like practice ain’t so bad”

Said Iverson.

Allen Iverson is considering returning to the NBA after recently retiring his Jersey and has interest from a few teams.

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“We’d take Iverson and let him sit in whenever Derek’s injured. So he’d pretty much play the whole season.” – Bulls

Iverson is negotiating with teams with numbers in excess of anything $100K more than the amount of debt he is currently in.

Shaq Tweets a Throwback Thursday Picture of Kobe’s Rape Case

“#NbaHistory. #NeverForget.” – Shaq

Tweeted Shaq to his millions of followers with the picture of Kobe Bryant featured on the front of Sports Illustrated after being accused of rape.

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Retired NBA baller Shaquille O’Neal tweeted a picture of Kobe’s rape assault case for Throwback Thursday on Twitter just for shits and giggles.

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“Kobe can’t pass a ball or a condom to himself” – Shaq

Shaq says he meant no harm and has always joked with Kobe about the incident, because he’s 7’1″ and there’s really not much Kobe could do about it.

Hillary Promises Lebron James a New Hairline If She Becomes President

“There’s two things women know about. Hair, and shopping. So I chose to trust her word.” – Lebron

Lebron says his choice to endorse Hillary Clinton stemmed from the fact that she had no problem lying to his face by telling him she could get him a new hairline if elected first female President of the United States.

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“Lebron is an amazing basketball player. An Amazing Father, but his hairline is where the amazing ends.” – Hillary

Lebron believes in Hillary like he believed in all the hair regrow companies that have failed after taken his money over the years.

Magic Johnson’s Son to Be NBA’s First Male Cheerleader

“All them skinny white girls dancing they need a thick b*tch like me”

Magic Johnson’s openly gay son, EJ Johnson is petitioning with the NBA to become the leagues first male cheerleader, and with his legendary father backing him its looking like it just might happen.
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“I wanna pick up where my dad left off. Carry on his NBA legacy.”

Magic Johnson’s son says his decision is final “I’m as positive as my Father about becoming the first openly gay NBA cheerleader.”

Warriors Throw in Wave Brush Kit to Sweeten Kevin Durant $54 Million Deal

“We like our future NBA champions to look presentable” – Warriors

Said Golden State Warriors head of marketing.

Golden State Warriors signed Kevin Durant to a two year $54 million dollar deal to join Steph in attaining their 2017 Nba championship title. To sweeten the deal team mates came together and purchased a wave brush and kit for superstar Durant.

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“We just thought it was the least we could do since we like to go out and club and shit when we not practicing” – Teammate

Kobe Now Smoking Weed To Deal with Being Around Wife and Kids 24/7

“Retired life is a motherf*cker.

Said Kobe about life while retired.

Kobe says he has taken up the pastime of smoking marijuana to deal with being around his wife and kids all the time as a retired NBA star.

“I never passed the ball, but I always pass the blunt”

Kobe says weed has made him more relaxed and think deeper on why he never liked to pass the ball.

Students Buy Kevin Durant a Hair Brush During High School Visit

“What do you buy a millionaire that has everything except for good hair? A brush!” – Student

Students of a Oklahoma high school that Kevin Durant frequents bought him a hair brush as a token of appreciation for the NBA superstar taking time out of his busy day to spend time with them.

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“He’s done so much for us the least we could do is help him look more presentable”

Kevin says he doesn’t plan on coming back to the school, because he was bullied as a kid for his long arms and nappy hair.

Nba Files for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy

“We’ve spent so much on the draft, trades and Lebron’s yearly supply of headbands we can’t afford to fund the 2016-2017 year”

The NBA filed Chapter 11 Bankruptcy after they were informed they have exceeded the budget by more than $20 million before entering the 2016-2017 title year.

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“If Jordan can give us one day of the earnings he gets from his sneakers we can possibly get back on track. Ain’t no Michael Jordan without the NBA. Remember that.”

The Nba is going to push the start of the season up three months to possibly raise more with off season activities, and getting refunds on Lebron’s over 10,000 Nike branded headbands.