sports

Dr. Phil Noticed a Herpes Wart on Draymond’s Dick Pic on Snapchat, NBA Investigating

“I’m a fan of Draymond’s, but I’m a bigger fan of wearing condoms” – Dr. Phil

Tv Doctor Dr. Phil noticed an herpes wart on basketball player Draymond Green after the baller accidentally posted a picture of his penis to Snapchat, and the NBA is now investigating.

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“I know his snap chat was an accident, but going raw in the groupie that gave him herpes, was not” – Dr. Phile

The NBA has temporarily removed Draymond from basketball camp, because all the other NBA ballers are starting to call him yucky.

J.R. Smith Tells Middle School Kids Hennessy is the Key to Success

“Dj Khaled said it best. THEY, don’t want you to know about Henny”

Said NBA star J.R. Smith to a Cleveland Middle School were he signed autographs and spoke to the kids during Summer break.

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Draymond Green Diagnosed with ‘Down Syndrome Face Ass’

“It definitely explains the obsession with kicking people in the nuts”

Said the doctor who diagnosed the NBA star.

Draymond Green was diagnosed with Down Syndrome Face Ass after a doctor who’s a fan seen random pictures of the basketball player online and called him in for a consultation.

“The hanging lip. The droopy eyes. The randomly kicking people in the nuts. Definitely down syndrome face ass”

Draymond Green hasn’t responded to the diagnosis, but he’s most likely somewhere kicking an undeserving man in the balls.

Curry 2 Lows Now Most Worn Sneaker at Trump Rally’s

“I told you my followers love the blacks or else they wouldn’t support such a magnificent sneaker” – Trump

Donald Trump says that Stephen Curry’s new sneaker is the most worn shoe at all of his Rally’s which are mostly attended by white males between the ages of 40 – 65 which also happens to be the most racist age of Caucasian in America.

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“I leave my job as a middle school P.E. teacher and head straight to the Trump rally’s. They’re so comfortable.”

Trump says he’s reached out to Stephen for an endorsement deal but the Warriors star hasn’t returned any of his calls.

Curry 2 Lows Now Most Worn Shoe by Old-White Trump Supporters

Lebron Announces He’s Shaving His Head Bald for 2016-2017 Season

“My hairline will retire before I do”

Said Lebron to his Instagram followers after revealing he’d be cutting his head bald.

Lebron announced that he would be cutting the 30% of hair he has left off and rock a baldy for the 2016-2017 NBA season leaving many fans in shock of why he hasn’t done it sooner.

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“About damn time” – Charles Barkley

Lebron’s donating all 72,000 headbands to Goodwill and will debut the new haircut at an upcoming cancer patient event where celebrities will donate their hair to kids going through treatment.

Shaq Tweets a Throwback Thursday Picture of Kobe’s Rape Case

“#NbaHistory. #NeverForget.” – Shaq

Tweeted Shaq to his millions of followers with the picture of Kobe Bryant featured on the front of Sports Illustrated after being accused of rape.

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Retired NBA baller Shaquille O’Neal tweeted a picture of Kobe’s rape assault case for Throwback Thursday on Twitter just for shits and giggles.

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“Kobe can’t pass a ball or a condom to himself” – Shaq

Shaq says he meant no harm and has always joked with Kobe about the incident, because he’s 7’1″ and there’s really not much Kobe could do about it.

Students Buy Kevin Durant a Hair Brush During High School Visit

“What do you buy a millionaire that has everything except for good hair? A brush!” – Student

Students of a Oklahoma high school that Kevin Durant frequents bought him a hair brush as a token of appreciation for the NBA superstar taking time out of his busy day to spend time with them.

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“He’s done so much for us the least we could do is help him look more presentable”

Kevin says he doesn’t plan on coming back to the school, because he was bullied as a kid for his long arms and nappy hair.

Kyrie Irving Taking Year Off to Help Relaunch And1 Basketball

“I did what paid the bills. Now its time to do what makes me happy”

Cleveland Cavalier’s guard Kyrie Irving revealed that he will be taking the 2016-2017 year off to help relaunch once prominent And1 Basketball tour company.

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“Crossing n*ggas up is one of my favorite pasttimes”

Kyrie tells his fans not to worry he will be back in the NBA faster than you can say “Lebron ain’t got no hairline”.

Westbrook’s Mom Says Kevin Durant No Longer Welcome at their House

“No loyalty to my son or a hairbrush. Left my baby for some Warriors”

Said Mrs Westbrook about her son’s former teammate Kevin Durant.

Russell Westbrook’s mother says Kevin Durant is no longer welcome to their home after showing no loyalty toward her son by signing with the Golden State Warriors.

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“All that money and won’t comb his damn head. Hell wrong with him” – Mrs. Westbrook

Russell Westbrook says his mother’s words are exactly that “Her words”, but says he agrees Durant has too much money to be walking around with his hair not on fleek.

J.R. Smith: “$15 Million Barely Covers Monthly ‘Henny and B*tches’ Expenses”

“With the cost of henny rising and b*tches charging extra for giving head with no condom $15 million is the LEAST the Cavs can do”

J.R. Smith insist his $15 per million ask isn’t a big deal and it barely covers his Hennessy and b*tches expenses after tax.

“Yall got n*ggas coming off the bench getting paid more. Meaning they can have MORE b*tches and MORE henny than J.R. That ain’t happening”

– J.R. Smith

J.R. Smith says he wouldn’t be the man he is today if it wasn’t for henny and b*tches and doesn’t plan to stop supporting that habit anytime soon.