sports

Kyrie Says White Women on Boat Were Lifeguards “Safety First”

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“Black women can’t swim and don’t like to get their weave wet. Is the risk of drowning really worth my NBA career?” – Kyrie

Kyrie Irving cleared up all the confusion surrounding his “no black girls” yacht party that went viral over the weekend and let people know that many of the white girls on board were lifeguards.

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“White people can swim since birth. Just like n*ggas are born loving jordans. Its just in their DNA.” – Kyrie

Kyrie insist that he likes all types of v@gina and has no preference toward white or black women.

Knicks Take Out Multi-Million Dollar Insurance Policy on D. Rose Knees

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“Healthy or not. We got to secure our financial future with Derrick. We spent a lot of money bringing him here” Said New York Knicks owner.

New York Knicks took out a $5 million dollar medical insurance policy on Derrick Rose that insures them that if he’s ever unable to play they will be compensated.

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“I don’t take it personal and I know its just business, but atleast BELIEVING in a n*gga wouldn’t hurt much” – D. Rose

Derrick should be grateful that we took him out the hood of Chicago and living in the shadow of Michael Jordan.

72 Yr Old Man Offers D. Rose His Crutches While Boarding Plane to New York

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“I thought it’d be funny, but just like his knees. His sense of humor is weak” – 72 Yr Old Man

A 72 year old Bulls fan offered Derrick Rose his crutches while the NBA star was boarding a plane to New York as a joke, but the Bulls baller didn’t take the joke too well according to passengers.

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“You could tell he wanted to throw a fit, but in all honesty his knees were too weak to jump up and down like he wanted to” – Passenger

Derrick Rose end up promising the man tickets to his first game with the Knicks as an apology.

KKK Invites Kyrie Irving to “No N*gger Lovers” Party

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“He understands that white is right and we salute him for that boat party.”

Said one KKK member who pinned the invite on Kyrie’s Cleveland mansion according to TMZ.

Members of the Ku Klux Klan invited Kyrie Irving to their “No N*ggers Allowed” party which is thrown every weekend. Members say he will be the first Black Man willingly attending the ceremony.

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“Nothing better than a black man that hates his own kind to prove what we’ve been preaching all alone” – KKK

The KKK says they will definitely be season tickets holders of the Cleveland Cavaliers as long as Kyrie continues to be a part of the team.

Draymond Green Girlfriend Dumps Him for Kicking Her in His Sleep

“Bruce Lee ain’t got sh*t on him. It’s like sleeping with a UFC fighter.” – Wife

Warriors baller Draymond Green is taking his second L of this week after his girlfriend dumped him, because she’s tired of being kicked in the back while sleeping with her soon to be husband.

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