D. Rose Files Anti-Bullying Lawsuit Against Bulls Ceo for Sharing Twitter Meme

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“First the trade. Now this. There’s only so much a n*gga can take” – Rose

Derrick Rose filed an anti bullying lawsuit against Chicago Bulls ceo for sharing a meme of the NBA star falling while boarding a plane to New York on Twitter.

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“I expect and understand this sh*t from n*ggas, but I just expect a level of professionalism when dealing with white folks.” – D. Rose

Derrick Rose says he wants a public apology and 24 hour security for him anytime he come back to Chicago to visit his family in the hood.

Kyrie Says White Women on Boat Were Lifeguards “Safety First”

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“Black women can’t swim and don’t like to get their weave wet. Is the risk of drowning really worth my NBA career?” – Kyrie

Kyrie Irving cleared up all the confusion surrounding his “no black girls” yacht party that went viral over the weekend and let people know that many of the white girls on board were lifeguards.

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“White people can swim since birth. Just like n*ggas are born loving jordans. Its just in their DNA.” – Kyrie

Kyrie insist that he likes all types of v@gina and has no preference toward white or black women.

Knicks Take Out Multi-Million Dollar Insurance Policy on D. Rose Knees

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“Healthy or not. We got to secure our financial future with Derrick. We spent a lot of money bringing him here” Said New York Knicks owner.

New York Knicks took out a $5 million dollar medical insurance policy on Derrick Rose that insures them that if he’s ever unable to play they will be compensated.

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“I don’t take it personal and I know its just business, but atleast BELIEVING in a n*gga wouldn’t hurt much” – D. Rose

Derrick should be grateful that we took him out the hood of Chicago and living in the shadow of Michael Jordan.

Gucci Mane Taking Time Off Rap to Go Back to School to Get G.E.D.

“I wanna be a scientist. If I can cook coke. I’m sure I can whip up some shit that might cure aids” Said Gucci Mane

Rapper Gucci Mane announced on his snapchat that he would be taking time off from rap to go back to school and get his G.E.D.

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“I changed my health. I changed how I look. Now I want to inspire kids to put down the glock and pick up a book.”

Gucci Mane says he will be getting home schooled until he’s off house arrest and will then enroll in a local G.E.D. program that allows him to bring his gun on campus.

Stevie J Arrested on Stage at B.E.T. Awards for Back Child Support

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“This would’ve never happen if Love & Hip Hop wasn’t paying n*ggas minimum wage” – Stevie J

Said Stevie J as he was escorted off stage after presenting an award.

Hip Hop producer Stevie J was arrested for back child support while on stage presenting an award for best rap album during the B.E.T. awards show.

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“I should’ve been smashing Josilyn from the get-go since she can’t have kids” – Stevie J

Stevie J owes over $80,000 in back child support so that means he will have to do 100 million and 73 more episodes of Love & Hip Hop or hit the lottery if he plans on ever paying it off.

Cocaine Dealer Files Lawsuit Against Chris Brown Says Singer Owes Him $20K

“We was gonna press him, but he got that crackhead strength. So we doing shit the white man way.”

Said Ricardo Suarez a known Los Angeles cocaine dealer.

Chris Brown has $20,000 dollars worth of reasons to clean his life up as a known drug dealer has filed a lawsuit in a Los Angeles court for money owed to him from supplying the singer with ‘medicine’ according to documents.

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72 Yr Old Man Offers D. Rose His Crutches While Boarding Plane to New York

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“I thought it’d be funny, but just like his knees. His sense of humor is weak” – 72 Yr Old Man

A 72 year old Bulls fan offered Derrick Rose his crutches while the NBA star was boarding a plane to New York as a joke, but the Bulls baller didn’t take the joke too well according to passengers.

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“You could tell he wanted to throw a fit, but in all honesty his knees were too weak to jump up and down like he wanted to” – Passenger

Derrick Rose end up promising the man tickets to his first game with the Knicks as an apology.

KKK Invites Kyrie Irving to “No N*gger Lovers” Party

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“He understands that white is right and we salute him for that boat party.”

Said one KKK member who pinned the invite on Kyrie’s Cleveland mansion according to TMZ.

Members of the Ku Klux Klan invited Kyrie Irving to their “No N*ggers Allowed” party which is thrown every weekend. Members say he will be the first Black Man willingly attending the ceremony.

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“Nothing better than a black man that hates his own kind to prove what we’ve been preaching all alone” – KKK

The KKK says they will definitely be season tickets holders of the Cleveland Cavaliers as long as Kyrie continues to be a part of the team.

Nurse Says “My Bad” for Mistakenly Injecting Diabetic Patient with H.I.V. Patient’s Needle

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“She tried to turn me into Magic Johnson. The least she could do is pay up.” – Patient

Said a Los Angeles nurses patient after she was mistakenly injected with an H.I.V positive needle.

Shanna Goins mistakenly stuck a diabetic patient with an HIV positive patients needle and her only response to the mishap was “My bad”.

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“My bad! I worked 16 hours and it was an honest mistake”

Sharika has been put on unpaid leave until the hospital can get to the bottom of the mishap, but as of now she offers nothing more than an apology.

Gladys Knight Chicken & Waffles Closed After Police Seize 100lbs Cocaine Stashed in Waffle Mix

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“We don’t suspect Gladys had anything to do with it, because it would be damn near impossible to snort coke and keep all that weight on” – Police

Said one Atlanta Police officers who led the investigation.

Gladys Knight Chicken and Waffle is closed for good after Police find more than 100lbs of cocaine stashed in their storage room blended in with their Waffle mix.

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“Cocaine is a helluva drug. No wonder they had customers and crack heads lined up around the block to get those waffles” – Police

Police say every employee on the scene tested positive for cocaine, weed, and every other trendy drug the kids do nowadays.