New York Man Beats Man to Death with Timberland for Stepping on His Timberland

“Playing with my Timbs is like playing with my emotions”

A New York man beat a nightclub bouncer to death with his Timberland boot after he stepped on it, and refused to apologize.
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“I ain’t realize how much blood-red go with butter Timbs until seeing this sh*t”

Trayvus is facing 45 years at Rikers if he’s convicted of killing his outfit matching the wheat timbs with a New York fitted, and the murder of Johnathan Ramsuel.

Man Pays Off $50,000 Sallie Mae Loan With Dirty Strip Club Singles

“He had Sallie Mae front office smelling like Ciroc and period p*ssy” – Employee

42 year old Franklin Donald paid off his remaining $50,000 in Sallie Mae student loans in strip club singles after winning the lottery for millions, and deciding to hit the gentlemen’s club. “I just saved the worst of the ones that me and my crew threw that night. I mean we swiped butt cracks and v@ginas with them ones.”

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Franklin said at first Sallie Mae’s receptionist didn’t want to accept the smelly ones, but after realizing he hadn’t made a payment since he dropped out of community college. They decided a win is a win, and took the money.

Dubai Sugar Daddy Sues IG Model for Money Back, Tells Judge P*ssy was Trash

“I flew her first class to Dubai for some ‘aight p*ssy’. That’s a $10K trip, that kitty should’ve been sensational”

Said one Dubai baller who flew IG model Shala Showoff to his home in Dubai where they had intercourse, and he defecated on her face multiple times while mouth was open.

Krishanaroff Pinshinksy says he flew Shala to Dubai to have a good time, and all he had was rug burn on his weenie from 45 minutes of dry head, and intercourse.

“She should delete her IG immediately, and keep that kitty behind closed doors.” – Krishanaroff

Krishanaroff wants a refund on the flight ticket, and reimbursement for time spent with her which works out to $120,000 since he makes $20,000 per hour through his oil company.

Lamar Says New Chick is Impressive, Because She Can Suck His D**k Standing Up

“And I thought cocaine was addictive. Her mouth is a drug.”

Lamar Odom has moved on from the likes of Khloe, and is dating a new chick who is only four foot eleven and the seven foot ex NBA star claims she can give him head while standing up. Front the front, or back.
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“I would say she belong in a circus with tricks like that, but then I couldn’t have her here 24/7 showing me what that mouth do while standing up.”

Lamar says he doesn’t see himself ever leaving her unless she comes between him, and his crack cocaine like Khloe did.

Cop Ask Woman Show Him “What That Mouth Do” to Get Out of Ticket, Promoted

“I felt disrespected, and humiliated, but I also didn’t want a ticket so I sucked him off.”

Florida police officer Jim Slankey was caught on cop cam asking a female driver to show him what that mouth do after she asked him what could she do to get out of a 30 miles per hour over the speed limit ticket.
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“I heard a rapper say it and thought it was cool. Didn’t know it meant suck my d**k. My apologies” – Officer

Officer Slankey has been promoted, because they say they’ve never seen so much honesty from a police man in so many years. “When women bribe us to get out of tickets. We honestly all just want a little mouth. His forward approach of 100% honesty of how to get out of a ticket is commendable.”

Knicks Ban D. Rose from Having Sex, Afraid Knee Might Go Out Before Season Ends

“He can’t even hit a b*tch from the back without his knee aching” – Coach

The Knicks have protected their millino dollar investment name D. Rose by contractually banning the NBA player from having sex until the season is over. Derrick has been seen all over instagram with his new instagram model chick, and coaches have taken notice.
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“He’s got this new girlfriend that likes to f**k him like he’s 21 again. He’s 28, and his knees are 50.” – Coach

D. Rose has bought a strap on and a couple vibrators for his new chick for the times when he can’t get the job done.

Tyga Car Repossessed While Waiting Outside 21 Savage Concert to Fight

“What happen to all those racks he rapped about in Rack City? Tyga Issa broke nigga.” – 21 Savage

Rapper Tyga pulled up to 21 savages concert in Los Angeles after the two continued to exchange words on social media, but was left carless after a repo’ woman came to repossess his last remaining car.
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“At this point Tyga has lost more cars than he’s owned, and that’s not even possible. Think about it.”

The repossession company claims they found 2 unloaded guns, and a Kylie-Tyga sextape. To which she said “ps. Tyga’s pipe game is trash.”

Floyd Got So Frustrated Reading a Big Worded Text from TI He Threw Phone in Trash

“This is an electronic message sent to inform you, Floyd Mayweather. That it has come to my immediate attention that you have disrespected me, and my marriage to the utmost degree, and I will handle you in the appropriate manner.

I’m popping off on sight, f**k n*gga.”

Friends are saying that boxer Floyd “I got all this money, but can’t read so how did I know to sign the right contract” Mayweather got so frustrated reading a big worded text from r
rapper T.I. about him dancing with his wife that he threw his whole phone in the trash.

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“TI could’ve simply told me he gonna pull up on me, but no. This n*gga had me asking my assistant to pull out a dictionary just to read a damn text message.”

T.I. said it was all part of his plan to throw the illiterate boxer off from what he really has planned. A celebrity spelling bee.

J.R. Smith Facing Suspension for Spiking Team Gatorade with Hennessy

“We spose to be quenching our thirst, but instead we getting faded like a jumpshot”

Cavaliers small forward J.R. Smith is facing suspension after the water boy noticed the gatorade smelled like bad decisions, and unprotected s3x, also known as Hennessy, and immediate alerted head coach.
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“I don’t put anything pass J.R. with him HENNYthing possible” – Head Coach

We would just order him to rehab, but he’d probably just pay someone to bring him Henny. So we’re thinking about hitting him where it hurts. Pockets. J.R. insist the incident was all a bad joke gone wrong.

Young M.A. Makes it Rain D1ldos in Atlanta Strip Club

“One b*tch caught a d1ldo to the eye, and is thinking about suing, but other than that everybody had a good time”

Up, and coming female male chauvinist Young M.A. put on a display in Atlanta’s Magic City when she made it rain male strap on parts to some of her favorite songs

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“It was atleast 1,000 d1ldos in the air at the same. damn. time. **future voice”

Young M.A. says she made one s3x shop owner very rich after dropping $30,000 on d1ldos for her gentlemen’s club night out.