Teammates Catch Odell Beckham Jr. Masturbating to Clemson Finger Butt Video

“He just kept playing it over, and over again”

Said a teammate of Odell Beckham after listening by the door as he jacked off.

Teammates of Odell Beckham caught him masturbating to the Clemson video of a player putting his finger in the opposing teams player butt.

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Husband Divorces Wife Because He was Tired of Paying for Her Weave

“It be cheaper to buy the whole damn horse and grow your own hair”

An Atlanta man filed for divorce from his wife of seven years, because he was tired of paying for her weave according to court documents.

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New York Man Divorces Wife for Buying Him Timbs Without Leather Top for Christmas

“She disrespected me to the highest degree. I can’t get jiggy with these shits.”

Said one New York husband about his ex wife.

Roger Peninsky filed for divorce early today after his wife purchased him some wheat Timberlands without the leather top for Christmas.

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Study: 95% of Chicago Residents Were Gifted Guns for Christmas

“Chicagoans just want their friends, and families to live to see another minute”

Statistics report that more than 95% of Chicago residents received guns for Christmas.

Chicago seen a surge in gun purchases around this Christmas than ever before with more than 95% of residents were gifted guns for Christmas 2016.

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Side Chick Gifts Man Negative Pregnancy Test for Christmas

“I couldn’t have asked for a better present. Glad to know my pull out game still A1”

Said one man who received a negative pregnancy test as his Christmas present.

A woman gifted married man a negative pregnancy test as his Christmas gift, because he wasn’t ready to leave his wife, and start a family with her.

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Girl Has Heart Attack After Being Promoted from Side to Main Chick for Christmas

“Guess the excitement of finally being able to be seen in public with me was too much to handle”

Said Gerard after his side chick had a heart attack after he promoted her significance in his life.

Gerard John says his side chick had a heart attack after he upgraded her from side chick to main chick as her Christmas present.

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Kid Tells Mall Santa All He Wants for Christmas is For Him to Stop F*cking His Mom

“I don’t want her being one of your ho, ho, hoes”

One kid made headlines after telling a mall santa that all he wanted for Christmas is for him to stop having s3x with his mom. Come to find out this mall santa was going down the chimney’s of a couple of the kids moms.

“You been climbing down our chimney every night and it ain’t Christmas.”

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Cam Newton Retiring from NFL to Open Up a Thrift Shop

“Tryna get Macklemore to go in with me but he’s not returning my calls.”

Says Cam Newton about “Thrift Shop” singer/rapper/culture stealer Macklemore.

Panthers Quarterback has informed teammates that he will be taking his talents elsewhere to open up a trendy Thriftshop in the Charlotte area.

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