Runner Usain Bolt Legs Broken Over $1.2 Mill Gambling Debt in Jamaica

“Funny he can outrun world class sprinters, but can’t jog his way out of ruining his f**king career” Said Usain Bolt’s manager Jeremy Jacks about the terrible incident.

Coming off the heels of winning his tenth gold medal just this week Usain has had both of his legs broken last night and police seem to think it has something to do with his $1.2 million dollar gambling debt.

“Black men only get one shot in this world. And that’s playing sports, music or selling cocaine so that white people have a legitimate reason to like them and he blew it” – Usain Manager


Usain Bolt is recovering in a Jamaican hospital where he is being guarded by the same men accused of breaking his legs stating “We need to protect our investment until he pays us back. He’s no good to us dead. We won’t him back to running for money instead of police like other black men in no time.”

Diddy Arrested for Smacking 50 Cent with Bottle of Ciroc Vodka

“Take that, Take that, Anybody can get it! 50 cent, 75 cent, whole dollar. Don’t matter” Said Diddy being hauled off by NYC after a scuffle with rapper 50 Cent.

Rapper 50 Cent was hit over the head with a bottle of his competition’s vodka last night in a New York City night club by mogul P. Diddy.

“He took the social media sh*t too far. He talk about my mama, my women, but he crossed the line when he made fun of my vodka. Them fighting words” – Diddy


Diddy will be charged with assault with a deadly weapon and with two other attempts of assault under his belt this year Wu Tang Clan or P. Diddy ain’t nothing to f**k with.

ESPN: Marshawn Lynch Resigns from NFL Immediately Says “I Will Not Be a Slave”

“My mama don’t even tell me when to speak. You think I’m gonna let some white man in a suit?” Said Marshawn Lynch about the fine handed down from the NFL for him not speaking.

Marshawn Lynch was fined $75,000 for not speaking during the Super Bowl press conference by the NFL.

“I’ll return to the NFL when the world learns how to treat colored people. Neveruary 15th 2050” – Marshawn Lynch

Marshawn says his people were enslaved for over 245 years and will not add another minute to that time by remaining a member of the NFL and plans to launch his own Gold Grill company like rapper Paul Wall to make ends meet.