Man Starts GoFundMe to Buy His Girlfriend Some “Edges” for Christmas

“I got tired of her looking like RoboCop with his helmet off”

Said one Florida gentlemen about his girlfriend.

A Florida man took his girlfriend lack of edges into his own hand and created a GoFundMe to pay for a surgery to get her permanent hair restoration for his Christmas.

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Girl Twerking in Library Ass Clapped So Loud, Arrested for Disturbing the Peace

“It sounded like 2 midgets high-fiving on the back of her ass. Set the fire alarm off and everything.”

Said one 16 year old boy who was studying for his permit exam.

A 23 year old Mystika Rolands was arrested for disturbing the peace in a library while shooting a video of her ass clapping very loudly.

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African Billionaire Marries Stranger After Seeing Video of Her Deep Throating Banana (Video)

“I seen her swallow that 11 inch fruit whole and instantly knew she was my 3rd wifey”

Said Umhadou Akbar a South African billionaire who proposed to a complete stranger through Facebook Messenger.

After a viral video of vegetarian Kimberely Ranskins deep throating a banana went viral she received a marriage proposal from a African oil tycoon who says he was very impressed with her “skills”

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Mayweather Kids Put on Punishment for Lying to Mother “Daddy Read Us Bedtime Stories”

“Now yo daddy can do a lot of things, but reading ain’t one of them”

Said mother to two of Mayweather’s children about them lying at a young age.

Two of Mayweather’s children were put on punishment for lying to their mother about the whereabouts of their father during a weekend stay at the Mayweather mansion.

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Expert Says Mayweather Ran a Combined 400k Miles in Ring During Boxing Career

“When your natural defense is to run in the opposite direction of every punch during a fight. It happens. He could’ve ran around the United States twice.”

Said a Las Vegas boxing expert who claims to have seen every Floyd Mayweather fight frame by frame and has done the math and research.

Las Vegas boxing expert, Hendry Bigone says Floyd Mayweather has ran over 400,000 miles in his career during fights where the boxer chooses to run instead of stand toe to toe and get his sh*t pushed in like every other boxing legend.

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Obese Rapper 21 Sandwich Drops Record Dissing 21 Savage

“You food nigga. i eat you like food nigga. I eat you like 21 sandwiches, 21 sandwiches 21 sandwiches…2017 is mine if I don’t have a heart attack before the year out”

Which is the hook from 21 Sandwich hit single “21 Sandwich A N*gga”.

Up and coming parody rapper 21 sandwiches has dropped a diss record about 21 Savage threatening to eat the rapper, then throw him up, and eat him again. Nasty sh*t.

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Over 320 Deaths by Kangaroo Kick After Thousands Fight Kangaroos Hoping to Go Viral

“People think they got Floyd Mayweather hands and defense, but all these Kangaroo kick deaths determined that was a lie”

Over 320 deaths by Kangaroo kick since a video went viral of a man protecting his dog from a mean headlock from a Kangaroo.

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Study Shows 10 Out of 10 Rap Fans Press Skip When They Hear a Birdman Verse

“There’s garbage verses than there’s Birdman verses. He should hire the n*gga that write for Drake”

Said one rap fan who participated in the survey.

A Study held by the RIAA shows that 99.9% of rap fans press skip whenever they hear a Birdman verse no matter on Pandora, Apple Music, or just listening through their AUX cord.

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Mariah Carey Says She Divorced Nick, Because His D**K Game Corny as He Is

“He really is Nickelodeon corny”

Said Mariah during a steamy interview about her ex husband Nicholas Cannon.

Mariah Carey told an audience that her ex husband pipe game was corny as his personality which everyone knows Nick is cornier than corn so I need not explain.

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Suge: “NWA Ran Train on Girl that Infected Eazy E “Rest Us N*ggas Just Got Lucky, Lol”

“We was all straight out of Compton and condoms that night, but somehow rest of us pulled out H.I.V free”

Said Suge when asked about his s3x life as a young famous man in the hip hop industry.

Suge Knight said during an interview from his cell that him and members of NWA ran the train on the girl who allegedly gave rapper Eazy E H.I.V., but some how they got lucky and didn’t contract the disease.

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